


We Brave and Broken Fewer

by InTheShadows



Series: What Doesn't Kill You (Is Bound To Try Again) [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, BAMF Jane Foster, BAMF Tony Stark, Beware The Furbies, Civil War Team Iron Man, Comic Book Science, De-Aged Tony Stark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extremis, Extremis Rhodey, Furbies, Gen, Humor, M/M, Nick Fury is Not Amused, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Teenager Tony Stark, They Will Come Back To Haunt You, Tony Has Issues, discussions on humanity, tony stark is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 13:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14106717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheShadows/pseuds/InTheShadows
Summary: The saying goes 'never look a gift horse in the mouth'. Tony would like to be the first to disagree with it. Because he totally is at this point. He's not sure what Loki did to him, but it's sure a hell of a lot more than just de-aging him. At least Jane is in the same boat now too. Sorta. They'll get things figured out eventually. Right? Hopefully soon too because the real world has a way of inserting itself into things if you ever forget about it. Things are going to be heating up soon. At least he has the beginnings of a new team and good friends to support him, come what may.





	We Brave and Broken Fewer

**Author's Note:**

> Finally! Honestly this was such a pain to write. I hope it's good because I'm done with this at this point. It's like the Harry Potter books, they just keep getting longer. Also Tony gives an interview before this story starts that is referenced. I promise to post it soon, I just to have to edit it first. (Why can't you transfer a story from brain to computer without having to write it first?) (Or you know, _not_ write it at two in the morning when you're trying to sleep and thus too tired to write it down. Honestly...)  
>  theme: [StopRewind](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvRbhoiLGK0) by Nathan Sharp

“Good morning Boss,” FRIDAY greets when Tony wakes up, “You are in the Compound in New York. It is 11:42 in the morning. The weather is 73 degrees outside. Jane has contacted me and she will be arriving in three days time. Also one Nicholas J. Fury, status: deceased, is sitting at the table drinking coffee.”

Tony blinks, not awake enough to understand what the hell is going on. Fury? Why the fuck is Fury... oh right. He must have read Tony's interview and decided to drop in. That one piece has spread like wildfire these past few days. FRIDAY has to screen his calls and Pepper's as well, with all the attention it is getting. Well, considering what he said, it makes sense. Still, it's a bit of a shock. He's made news before, but never this big.

Now the real question is, does Fury suspect that he is actually Tony Stark or is he here for Edan? He would like to say it would be pretty fucking hard to guess that he is Tony Stark, de-aged to his teenage years, but this is Fury. The man has seen some weird shit working at SHIELD. He wouldn't be surprised at all if the old pirate is suspicious.

Then Tony thinks about it and snickers to himself. Who is he kidding? _Of course_ Nick is going to know it's him. He had to babysit him enough times when Howard dragged him along to his 'secret' work. As if Tony was too young and too stupid to figure out what was going on. And when Aunt Peggy – his _official_ Godmother – was too busy to have a too curious, too smart little boy under foot, the job of watching him got passed on to someone else. And wouldn't you know who got stuck with the job most of the time?

Howard stopped bring him when he was seven and sent off to his first boarding school. But he never forgot those first years. Why would he? Nick was on the list of three other people who actually gave a damn about him – Aunt Peggy and Jarvis being the other two. He was regularly exasperated and annoyed by him daily, but he never screamed at him, never hit him, never wished he was never born. Most people would be shocked to realize that, as a young child, Tony Stark was not an absolute terror to raise. That came later.

Back then, he wanted to know _everything_. He never grew out of his 'why' phase. The questions just kept getting more and more complex as time went on. Eventually he learned to answer those questions for himself, but until then, he was simply curious. Take it, that also meant he took more than a few things apart than he shouldn't have. But he wasn't the spoiled whiny brat everyone always assumed. No, he was curious and bold and smart and rather shy at times.

He never saw Nick again until he was dying of palladium poisoning. Well, he says _saw_. He never did physically, but he knew he was there. Nick always had a certain presence that Tony is good at picking up on. So he knew he dropped in to check him over from time to time. Sometimes those check ins would bring little gifts – extra wires, tools he needed, more advanced books. Things like that.

He was the only one who attended his college graduation.

Logically he knows that Nick can never show he cares for Tony. Or couldn't before, when he was in charge of SHIELD. That would come with disastrous results. Still, he remembers the feeling of betrayal he felt when no sign of recognition or care came, even secretly. He wasn't pissed Nick sent Romanov to spy on him. He was pissed he acted so distant about it, even when they were alone.

He's a bit upset about it now, to be honest. Just because he doesn't have the original emotions to go with the memories, doesn't mean he can't feel anything from them. A prime example about what he thinks about Rogers and his hypocritical 'Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things' ass. Ha! It's going to be a cold day in hell before he gets over that one. No one has ever claimed he isn't good at holding a grudge.

So he slides out of bed, throws on a hoodie that might be his, but is probably Rhodey's, and goes wandering into the kitchen. He ignores the man, focused on getting his coffee. He sips at it casually, pretending he is alone. The silence stretches, but Tony refuses to be the one to break it. Normally he hates silence. Can't stand the long, awkward pauses. That's one of the reasons he talks so much. But when he is making a point? He has no troubles shutting up.

Apparently Nick realizes this because he is the first one to break the silence. “Brat,” he greets, pointedly rolling his eyes.

“Auntie Nick,” Tony grins in return.

Nick grumbles under his breath, although he catches the phrase 'damn Howard'. That makes Tony grin even wider. He always gets a vicious sort of pleasure when someone starts badmouthing old Daddy Dearest. Especially if it's because they prefer Tony over him. It never fails to brighten his day.

“How _is_ my favorite Auntie?” he continues, “I heard rumors of your supposed death, but I knew it wouldn't stick. You're too tricky for that. What can I do for you this fine morning?”

“And _you're_ too much a brat to retire after everything that's happen.”

Tony tilts his head. “What makes you say that? I _was_ considering it before all of this,” he motions to himself, “went down. I didn't lie all that much in my speech. So what makes you think I didn't throw in the hat? Everyone has a breaking point you know.”

“Because Stark, you're too much of a stubborn pain in the ass to let anyone else have the last word. When someone finally kills you, you're going to come back as a ghost just to annoy them to death.”

“Why Nicky,” he places a hand over his heart, “that is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. You _do_ care.”

“Yes, well you know how it is with fungus – it grows on you.”

Tony smirks and takes a slow sip. He lets it warm his throat before he asks his next question. “Incidentally, did you know?”

“Know what brat? I'm still not a damn mind reader, no matter what people think.”

“People think that because you want them to,” Tony says dryly.

“Damn straight I do. Makes it easier to run a top secret organization that way.”

“Carry a bigger stick,” he mocks.

“I'm not Howard and I thank you not to compare me to the old dead bastard.”

“You know, you fit that description pretty well yourself.”

“I'm not in the grave yet, despite what some might wish,” Nick smiles sharply.

Tony snorts. He notices he didn't protest to any other part of that description. He also notices that he is changing the subject – badly at that. Maybe being dead has had an effect on his brain. “Howard and Mom. Did you know that the Winter Soldier murdered them?”

“Once again, what do you take me for? I'm not omnipresent.”

“I take you for the man who has his fingers in every pie he can possibly get his hands on. Come on Nick, don't try to shit me. Did you know?”

Fury sighs as if this physically pains him. “As hard as this is going to be to believe, no I didn't know. You can bet your ass I would have done something if I had. Maybe I would have told you right away. Maybe I would have waited for a better time. But I would have damn well done something, if not for justice then because Howard was damn useful when he wasn't being a complete ass and he founded SHIELD. I wouldn't have let it go, ghost story or no.”

Tony stares at him before he nods. Nick is telling the truth. And he's right, it is hard to believe, but that doesn't make it any less true. How about that. Still, there is something about it that is bothering Tony. “But he had samples of the super soldier serum in the trunk. Where else would he be taking them if not SHIELD?”

“He _was_ taking them to SHIELD. But the bastard never told anyone he had found a solution to the serum, just that he was working on it. I don't have to tell you how obsessed he was with Rogers,” Nick says dryly, “If he couldn't find the man, he wanted to do the next best thing – recreate the serum. Everything about Rogers became an obsession as he got older. The Company may have been his life, but that damn Captain America was his soul.”

Tony scowls into his coffee.

“I regret not punching him now. He deserved it, even if he didn't deserve to be murdered.”

Tony grins. This is why he loves Nick, even if he is pissed at him. “So dear old Dad was taking his success to SHIELD without announcing it beforehand?” He laughs, a bit darkly. “Probably wanted to be there to see the reactions first hand. Too bad his ego got in the way, it would meant it was looked into more, if not save them.” Save her. It's so strange to think his parents are dead given that, when he graduated, they were still alive. Had been alive for months yet. The grief isn't exactly there like it should be either. He misses his Mother, but she doesn't feel... dead. Just gone. At the same time he can remember watching her being murdered.

His memory is a weird place anymore. It's not worth the effort to react like he should. Everything is jumbled around – recent, past and present all seem the same sometimes. There's still shit that bothers him and stuff that should, but doesn't anymore. It's enough to give him a headache if he thinks on it too long.

“No benefit of the doubt – he didn't want people to know what he was transporting until he was safe?”

“If that was his goal he failed spectacularly,” Tony mutters darkly, “And with Howard? Fuck no.” He knows he is being petty with this. There _is_ a chance that Nick is right and that was what Howard was doing. But then again, what the hell was his Mother doing with him if that were the case? Was she going to SHIELD too? Why? Worst part is that he'll never know for sure.

Nick shrugs. “Fair enough.”

Alright, enough of that then. “So what _do_ I owe this visit to? After all, I haven't seen my favorite Auntie in years now.”

“I came to see what the little brat I was forced to watch before got himself into now. And if he had any more life changing news to share – _before_ he sent the world into chaos.”

“So you liked the interview then?”

“If by like you mean I think you just threw a hungry lion in with a field of fat gazelle, then yes, I thought your interview was a fucking unicorn.”

“Great!” Tony grins brightly, “that's just what I was aiming for – unicorns are awesome.”

“How would you know? A unicorn wouldn't come within a hundred feet of you now.”

“I'm hurt Auntie, so hurt.”

“You'll survive.”

Tony pouts, but then asks, “So you think it'll work then?”

“Kid, if this doesn't do something, nothing will.”

Tony nods, smirking a little as he thinks over the pre-interview conversation he had with... Chloe? Charlotte? No, Christine, that was it. Ha! He remembered this time. He really should make a note of that somewhere. Or, better yet, have FRIDAY make a note of it.

“ _Ms Everhart, it is a pleasure to meet you.”_

“ _Mr Stark,” Christine has a strong grip as she shakes his hand. “I must admit to being a bit surprised to hear from you. I know your Father was never a fan of mine.”_

“ _See, that's where you're wrong actually.”_

“ _Oh?” she raises an eyebrow at him as they both take a seat. She is all sharp smiles and sharper tongue right now. “And what could I have possibly done to make the great Tony Stark like me?A particularly skilled blowjob?”_

_Tony doesn't take the bait. “The pictures you showed him from Gulmira,” he replies seriously. Because it is true. At the time, he had no idea how far the corruption ran. He had no idea Stane was behind everything. Those pictures were the first clue to that. Without them, who knows how everything could have turned out._

_Sure, she has her biases and makes no move to hide them. She is no fan of superheroes. But neither is she one for injustice and the blatant misuse of power. She isn't afraid to go head to head with those more powerful than she is. That's why Tony needs her. Why she is perfect for the job. Because for him to do what he needs to do, he needs a clear road to do it._

_The Accords aren't going away just because of the 'Civil War'. In fact, they probably seem more necessary than ever. He needs to be able to work_ with _them, not against. But right now, there's no way in hell he is going to. The garbage needs taken out first. And this is the first step to doing just that._

_Christine leans forward, suddenly very interested. “This isn't a fluff piece, is it?”_

“ _Oh I assure you, there is going to be some fluff in it. But no,” he agrees, “I don't need a fluff piece about the nice little rich boy stepping up in Daddy's shoes. I need to get a message out there. And you are just the person who can do it.”_

“ _And why do you think that?”_

“ _You don't back down. You look for the truth and then_ you tell it _. That's what the world needs right now.”_

“ _About the Accords?”_

“ _About everything. It's no secret you don't like superheroes, but you don't automatically demonize them. They are still just people and you emphasize that. Your interview with Lang, for example. Coming from you, this is going to have a different meaning than if it was written by someone else.”_

“ _So you are pro-Accords?”_

“ _Say more that I am anti-corruption at the moment.”_

“ _Are you trying to tell me the Accords, the document written to protect the people from those like Stark, like_ you _, is corrupt?”_

“ _No. Obviously it is going to need some work, but I'm not expecting perfection.”_

“ _Then_ what _are you expecting?”_

“ _Justice for everyone – both sides.”_

“ _It's not justice the supposed superheroes need, it's a good punch to the face and regulations to keep them in line.”_

“ _They also need to know they aren't going to be used and abused, treated like a mindless gun and not people themselves.”_

“ _There are suppose to be rules against that. The Accords were written by the UN, not a government.”_

“ _Rules against it,” Tony snorts, “you aren't that naive. With the wrong people in place, it can still happen.”_

“ _So we should worry about a 'what if' that might never come to pass?”_

“ _It already has.”_

_Christine freezes, scanning Tony's face for clues. “Who?” is all she asks._

“ _Secretary of State Ross on counts of imprisonment without a trial, cruel and unusual punishment, misuse of power and general manipulation and assholeness. How unfortunate that the last one is useless,” Tony sneers._

“ _Funny how none of this has come to light before,” she answers skeptically._

“ _How do you feel about being the one to do it?”_

“ _You want Ross gone.” It is a statement, not a question._

“ _What I would really like is Ross' head on a silver platter, but having him powerless and in prison is the next best thing,” he shrugs._

“ _And why leave this up to me? Don't you have any leads so far?”_

“ _Oh I have plenty of leads, but this can't come from me. You know that just as well as I do. It needs to come from someone with a history of uncovering the truth. If I tell it, it seems like revenge. If_ you _tell it, it is you finding the biggest story of the year.”_

“ _And what do you have so far then?” she repeats._

_Tony hands her a flash drive. “Tell me Ms Everhart, have you ever heard of the Raft?”_

_Her eyes light up. “Mr Stark, you have yourself a deal.”_

“ _Call me Edan please. I have a feeling this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.”_

The interview itself had been easy, yet exhausting at the same time. Tony had never been so honest in his life. That was his new media strategy – honest and open. Well, mostly honest. But the people need to see superheroes not as untouchable figureheads to be worshiped and vilified as needed. They need to be human too. It's going to be a pain in the ass, but it's also going to be worth it if it works. So far, it has.

He also gets quite a bit of satisfaction over the fact that he shocked the hell out of her. If she didn't think he was serious before, she sure does now.

Nick obviously sees the smirk because he sighs, “What other chaos did you unleash while you were at it brat?”

“Chaos? Me?”

Nick glares at him.

“Nothing much,” he shrugs, “I just might have given her a starting point to rid us of an unlamented nuisance, that's all.”

“Is it going to throw the world into disarray?”

“Nope.”

“Good. Then I don't care. I have enough work to do without you dropping _another_ bomb on everyone.”

“How else was I supposed to get people to listen?” he asks crossly, “No one did before. And I don't mean just people off the street either,” he goes on when it looks like Nick is about to answer, “I mean the people that should have – I mean my ex goddamn team. Frankly, by the end, I think they were _glad_ to get away from me. Glad to finally have a good excuse to throw me away. They could give a flying fuck about me. I was never anything but the arrogant, billionaire genius that funded their lives.

“At the point the Accords came up, we weren't even a team anymore. They blamed me for Ultron just like they blamed me for everything else that was convenient. They never saw past my masks. I doubt they even tried. All they did was mooch off my money because, apparently since I was rich, that made it ok. I can't even tell you the last time I was thanked by any of them. No, wrong, I can because FRIDAY went back through the footage to find out. Do you want to know when that was? Years ago. Five years, seven months and three days to be exact from the day Ross marched his ass into the Compound and told us to sign or go to hell.

“Tell me Nick, what am I supposed to do with that? I know you couldn't have done anything visible, because of everyone riding you, but seriously? I have dealt with a lot of shit in my life, but you never gave me anything, even when I was alone. I would have at least liked a fucking _conversation_ once in a while. Secret little gifts can only go so far when the rest of the world wants to see you burn.”

“Damn it brat,” Nick growls before getting up and pulling Tony into a tight hug. “You always have to make things complicated, don't you?”

Tony buries his head into his shoulder and grips the jacket in his hands. “That's my specialty remember?”

“I'm not made for this kind of shit. I'm a spy, not a babysitter.”

“I haven't needed one of those in a long time.”

“Debatable.”

Tony lets out a choked laugh.

“We're preparing on my end. Coulson has a team and I'm assembling others as we speak. When you need backup, give me a call.”

“Agent is alive, color me surprised.”

“Yes, you're a special cupcake. Would you like a gold star?”

“How did you know that was what I always wanted?” he asks sweetly as he pulls away, enough to look at Nick's face. He's a couple of inches taller than Tony, so he has to tilt his head slightly, but that doesn't matter. He flutters his eyes, just to add to the affect.

Nick ruffles his hair in retaliation, messing it up.

“Hey,” he protests, combing it with his fingers.

“Trust me, no one is going to be able to tell the difference.”

It's at that moment that Rhodey rolls into the kitchen for lunch.

“People are so mean. Rhodey bear! Why are people always so mean to me?” he pouts.

“Because generally you start it first,” he answers without pause.

No sympathy. No sympathy at all. He pulls away and glares at both of them.

Rhodey rolls his eyes.

Nick ruffles his hair again. “I'll be in touch,” he says before walking out.

Tony huffs and drinks his coffee.

“Do I want to know why the dead are now paying visits?” Rhodey asks dryly.

“The dead are preparing for battle apparently. They gather the best from all the Afterlives, shove guns in their hands and point towards the enemy. It's a very effective strategy – they're already dead, what else is going to happen to them?”

“That sounds vaguely familiar. Did you just rip off Valhalla?”

“I'll never tell. And since when do you read Norse Mythology anyways?”

“Since their gods keep showing up like bad pennies.”

“Point,” Tony concedes.

Rhodey, because he is a god sent and the absolute light of Tony's life, makes them french toast for lunch. He dives in and ends up eating five plates of it before he is full.

“Something you want to tell me Tones?”

“What do you mean platypus?” he asks as he licks his plate.

“I've never seen you eat that much, no matter how hungry you were.”

Shit. Tony barely keeps himself from flinching. He honestly hadn't noticed that he was eating more as well. Which, understandable when it took him as long as it did to notice his other physical enhancements. Still, the last thing he wants to do is tell Rhodey now. He still isn't ready. May never be ready, but he's not stupid enough to think he can keep this a secret forever. He is planning on at least talking to Jane first, before he does. Maybe that will help him come up with a plan.

So he does what he does best. He deflects. “I'm a growing boy honey bear, I need my food. Are you trying to deprive me of my needed and essential nutrients?”

“Good point. Maybe you'll grow a couple more inches this time around,” Rhodey smirks at him.

“Rhodey,” Tony squawks.

Rhodey throws his head back and laughs. When he looks at Tony, his eyes are bright and happy. There aren't any signs of stress and pain that has been building these last months. He hasn't seen his best friend this happy in a long time. It makes something in his ache.

He swallows it down and sticks out his tongue at him. “I'm going to the shop,” he grumbles. He walks away to the sound of Rhodey's laughter.

-xxx-

**Stark Speaks Out: Cap, Accords and More**

**The Truth About E.T.**

**It's Not Easy Wearing A Cape**

**What We Need To Know And Why We Need To Know It**

-xxx-

Jane and Darcy arrive at the Compound in a fury of excitement – Darcy – and anxiety – Jane – as well as the general tired buzz from air travel.

“What's up my peeps,” Darcy asks, grinning widely.

“Nice shirt,” Rhodey tells her, also grinning, because he's an ass like that.

“You like?” she asks, “I can totally get you one. They're the latest rage right now.”

“Oh my god, yes please,” Rhodey gasps, laughing.

“Great, just let me know your shirt size.”

Darcy and Rhodey grin at each other while Jane and Tony roll their eyes. Alright, so maybe he shouldn't have made that comment in the interview. In his defense, it was a thing long before he made it. Hell, that was what got him and Peter together. Still, he definitely made it skyrocket in popularity when he said that...

“Peter is going to die of embarrassment when he sees you wearing that,” Tony tells her, fighting a grin.

Darcy squeaks, “Oh my god, I totally have to get your sugar pie a shirt too.” Her grin takes on a wicked gleam to it. “That reminds me,” she digs into her bag and throws a shirt at him.

Unfolding it, the grins breaks free. Oh yes, Peter is going to be _so_ embarrassed by this. He'll have to wear it next time he comes over. The shirt in question is a bright red with 'IronSpider for President' in gold lettering. The real work of art is how the artist combined their two symbols – it's a black spider, but its body is actually the arc reactor. It's quite good really.

He gives her a wide grin. “I'll treasure it forever,” he reassures her.

Rhodey sighs, overly obvious.

“Jealous platypus?”

“Absolutely,” he deadpans, “how will I go on.”

He smiles obnoxiously, but catches sight of Jane's face and decides to end the banter for the time being. Teasing later, science and freak outs now. “Right, well FRIDAY will show you your rooms, Rhodey can get you food if you're hungry and worry about unpacking later. Science now!” he shouts and grabs Jane, pulling her away. He can hear Rhodey protest behind them, but he doesn't stop.

Neither of them say anything until they are down in his workshop. Then Jane takes a seat on one of his stools and sighs. “Fuck this shit,” she announces.

Tony makes a sympathetic noise. “That bad?”

“It's not getting any worse so far, but it's still a lot to take in. I'm use to dealing with things that make _sense_ , even if the majority of people don't agree with me. Space travel and other Realms is one thing. It's been pretty much accepted that it could be a possibility that there is more life out there, if only we could find proof. This?” she waves her hands around, “Superpowers? Maybe magic? Mysterious accidents? This was never part of the plan,” she complains.

Tony snorts. “Welcome to my world,” he tells her blandly.

She groans. “God, it _is_ , isn't it? This is the kind of things you are use to.”

“A bit. Take it, it's not every day you find out your humanity is no longer a thing. Even that is enough to throw me off, but the world turns,” he shrugs, seemingly casual. Fuck has he not been looking forward to this part of the conversation.

“What?” That brings Jane out of her miserable borderline freak out, “The hell are you talking about Stark?”

He stares up at the ceiling. “Hmm? Oh, you thought you had a monopoly on doing crazy shit you shouldn't be able to? Sorry to break it to you, but no. Apparently it's catching.”

“There is a difference between being able to blow something up and not being human anymore. That's not out of the realm of humanity, just look at the x-gene. No matter how much Magneto, and a large part of the population, hates it, mutants are still technically human. I'm sure there are a number of X-Men who could have accidentally blown a computer up.”

“And there are a number of them that could have probably started lifting twenty plus ton, but I bet their blood tests wouldn't show a lack of humanity.”

Jane frowns at him. “What is going on Tony?”

“I'd like to test your blood, to see,” he answers evasively.

“I meant with _you_ ,” she corrects.

He gives a sort of bitter laugh. “The hell if I know. Sudden superpowers are one thing. A sudden lack of humanity is quite another. Whatever Loki did to me, besides the obvious, I am now equipped to go head to head with self proclaimed gods.”

Jane's eyes widen and opens her mouth, questions no doubt piling on top of questions, before she pulls herself back in. “Fucker,” she declares in sympathy.

Tony's laugh is much lighter at that. “Basically. Love the results, question the method.”

She hums in agreement, clearly in thought. “You think it's linked,” she accuses.

“I have no idea if your powers and mine are linked, but it's worth a shot to check. It's not like I have an abundance of possibilities to check. At the least, we can compare your results to all the others and go from there.”

She nods decisively. “Right.”

Both of them try to distract themselves while they wait for the results, but both fail spectacularly. A part of Tony selfishly hopes that Jane is in the same boat as he is. That would make things so much easier to deal with. Things may be fucked, but at least he wouldn't be alone in it. He is so tired of being alone. All his life, he has had only himself to depend on, with a few, rare, exceptions – Rhodey and Jarvis being the two main ones. Sure, he is building more connections now, but that doesn't mean that erases the previous seventeen years of isolation and self sufficiency.

Howard had made a point of emphasizing those lessons – whether he was there or not. Frankly, his absence was one of the main lessons Tony had. No one was going to bother with him because he wasn't worth the effort. There would always be more important things than Tony. He would never be enough to measure up.

Fuck Howard. Part of him is glad he got murdered, no matter how much of a terrible son, and person, that made him. His Mother is a much harder hit, but Howard? Howard can burn for all he cares. And if part of him is still a child, crying out for his Daddy to love him, care for him, _just look at him and be proud, just once_? Well. That's no one's business, but his own.

When the tests are done, Tony doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. Looks like he isn't alone after all.

The results aren't identical of course. There are some varying differences, but not enough to class them in separate categories. Neither of them is human. Not enough to count anyways.

“I am going to kill him,” Jane declares.

“Loki?” Tony asks, assuming.

“No. Thor,” Jane growls.

Tony blinks. “Because he started it?”

“Because he never _once_ mentioned that there could be adverse side effects!” she shouts, “I get that magic isn't his thing, but for fucks sake, even he should have known about this! At this rate, I might as well have been talking to Loki about it. I'm sure as hell he would have been a lot more fucking useful.”

Tony can tell how pissed Jane is by the amount she is cussing. Wow. “So wait, you're making the assumption that this has something to do with the Aether, right?” he guesses the name of the thing that infected her. She nods in confirmation. “Aether, yeah, is what is causing all of this?”

“It's the most logical conclusion. I haven't come into contact with anything else that could have had this much of a drastic change on me. It was very clear that the human body wasn't made to hold such power. I was unconscious most of the time near the end. But what if, in the short time, my body started to adapt? Sure, normally human evolution is nowhere near this fast or even close to it. But I clearly survived something that should have killed me and we are working with a largely unknown quality here. What if the Aether changed me?”

Tony runs a hand through his hair. “Makes sense,” he admits, “but how do I fit into that? It's obvious what you came into conact with to change you. Me, I never had any skin to skin contact with any of this. And even if I did, I clearly didn't change before Loki popped up.”

“You doubt that he is responsible for the change why?” Jane raises a pointed eyebrow at him.

He sighs and leans against the table. “It's not that exactly. Any idiot can see that he did something. But shouldn't there be a difference between de-aging someone and changing their DNA? I mean, theoretically the former could almost be some kind of time spell right? Turn back the internal clock on a person. Molecular changes and the like should be much more complicated.”

“But we are dealing with magic here,” Jane adds thoughtfully.

Tony shakes his head. “Thor was always very insistent that what we called magic was just too advance science for us mortals to understand,” he pulls a face in pure distaste of that particular statement. “Take it, when asked, it was clear he wasn't too keen about the understanding of it either. Magic was always Loki's department and why would Thor need to understand more than the bare minimum of such a thing when he was _such_ a _wonderful_ and _powerful_ and _successful_ warrior.” The annoyance and fury is clear in his tone of voice. Because that will never stop rubbing him wrong. Yeah, yeah, he knows different cultures are going to have different values and rules, but this will never stop bothering him. Thor may have proclaimed him his 'valiant Shield Brother' all he wanted, it is clear what side of the scale Tony _really_ falls on. “Warrior culture,” he rolls his eyes when Jane looks at him questioningly.

Jane nods her head in understanding.

“Which means, while I have no clear concept of the perimeters of their 'science',” he air quotes, “I find it hard to believe that they can change a person's genetic makeup that easily. This happen to me in a matter of seconds. Loki may be the best and most powerful sorcerer of Oz, but even he should need more time than that.”

“But what if he doesn't?”

“Than we pray I'm right and he's most definitely on our side, or we are all screwed,” he answers bluntly. “But even he has to have limits. You can't tell me you actually believe he could have done this without any type of help.”

She sighs and shakes her head. “No, but frankly I have no idea what to believe anymore. All of this is so far out of my range of expertise I don't know what to think. Part of my brain keeps screaming at me that this is impossible, but then so should half the stuff the world has seen lately. Things are changing and I'm not sure they are for the better.”

A small corner of Tony's brain catches on the conversation Vision had at the start of the Accords – where he states that Tony becoming Iron Man started everything – and slumps even further down against the table. The statistics proved it. Once one superhero came, the rest followed. Maybe Tony _had_ been meant to die in that cave after all.

It's not a mindset that he can fully agree with, given that he doesn't truly remember the experience anymore. But part of him, the part that always reminds him that he is never going to be worth it, fully agrees with the sentiment behind the thought. Of course that isn't all of him because Tony Stark is nothing if a survivor, but still.

Then again, one could argue that Howard and Erskine and Rogers were really the ones who started it. Captain America is suppose to be the world's first superhero after all. And he would have been found and unthawed eventually. HYDRA would have still been SHIELD and Barnes would have still been the Winter Soldier. Hell, even Thor would have still been banished here. So maybe it is self centered of him to say he started the cycle. People have accused him of that enough – rightly so, he might add.

So maybe it is better to say he started the revival of it. If his timing had been a little off, Thor could have been the one instead of him.

Hell, at this point, he could even blame Stane for the whole mess. If he hadn't ordered him kidnapped when he did, Iron Man would have never been invented yet. Stane was technically the one who started the cycle this time around. He would have waited a year or so and he would have been after Thor. Or at the very least, around the same time frame.

Maybe this is what everyone always meant about not carrying the world's problems on his shoulder. Huh, what a thought. Kind of freeing actually, if he can manage it.

But back to the problem at hand. “The rule of entropy,” he says instead, “The world automatically shifts towards chaos.”

Jane smirks at him. “Your favorite part of physics?” she asks sweetly.

He returns her grin. “Naturally. Do you know the number of times I used that rule since I learned it?”

“I can only imagine,” she answers dryly.

“Can't argue against the laws of the universe.”

“Somehow, I'm sure they disagreed with you.”

“Somehow,” he agrees innocently, tilting his head.

Jane snorts and then she chuckles and then she starts to laugh. She grabs her side with one hand and the top of her stool with the other.

Tony grins, happy his goal has been accomplished. Jane is amazing and needs to laugh and smile as much as she can. She lights up the room when she does. Which sounds vaguely flirty or something, but it totally isn't. He just legitimately likes to see her happy. Jane is a friend, something he still is trying to comprehend sometimes. People like him now and not for his money or fame. What a concept.

Besides, it's either laugh or cry and Tony knows which one he would rather do.

“Boss,” FRIDAY interrupts, “I think you should look at something.”

Both Tony and Jane turn towards the screen his AI has pulled up. On it are the results from the Tesseract, Vision and the anomalies from both of their blood tests. They are... scarily similar. “I have pulled the relevant sections of all the above experiments and noted the similarities. It appears there is a common factor here.”

“The Infinity Stones,” Jane breathes.

Tony frowns, staring. “And... the arc reactor?” he questions.

FRIDAY changes the screen, showing only the Tesseract above Tony's own blood. There's no question that there are a number of common denominators between them.

“How though?” he thinks out loud, “I've never worked that intensely with the Tesseract and that short time at SHIELD wouldn't have been enough to do anything. If it is, the others would at least have had the starting signs of this.”

“Could Loki have used the Tesseract when he de-aged you?” Jane asks cautiously.

“No because he didn't have it with him. FRIDAY, any sign of it any time when Loki stopped by?” he asks, just in case.

“No sign Boss. That was the first thing I checked.”

“Good girl,” Tony praises then frowns. “So we have part of it explained, but that still leaves more questions. Looks like we are still going to need Stef. And we are _definitely_ going to need Vision.” Who still hasn't shown his face around here, but that is going to need to change. Especially if they are going to be fucking around with the Infinity Stones.

“Stef?” Jane asks.

“Doctor Stephen Strange,” he elaborates, “he's the new Sorcerer Supreme and an old friend of mine. I've already called him so that he knows I'm, well, me, but I haven't updated him on anything else yet.”

“At least someone knows magic around here.”

“I just hope the magic matches up well enough,” Tony adds, “With the way things are going lately, they're going to be different forms of magic.”

“Don't you dare jinx us Stark,” Jane warns.

Tony shrugs. “You really think Earth magic and Asgardian magic have a high chance of being similar?”

“No, but I can dream,” she sighs.

Tony nods in sympathy, but doesn't say anything. He's tried that route before and it's never turned out particularly well for him. Still, no need to crush both of their hopes. That will surely come soon enough as it is.

Optimism is definitely one of his chief skills for sure. Right.

At that point, Jane's stomach rumbles, saving Tony from having to make more cheery conversation on a topic that he is still coming to terms with. Jane being here definitely helps and so does time, but there still needs to be some serious processing before he is completely fine with this new curve ball. Still, at this point, it is looking less like a disaster, which Tony is immensely grateful for. Misery loves company after all.

“Food time,” he declares loudly after Jane blushes. “Come on, I bet those losers ordered pizza without us.”

“They have already finished one without you Boss,” FRIDAY confirms.

“Traitors,” Tony grumbles, “Come on, I don't know about Darcy, but Rhodey will eat all of the pizza just to spite me.”

“Darcy eats too much as well. It's all of that energy she has, she burns through food too fast,” Jane complains,” She eats a ton and never gains a pound.”

Tony eyes Jane's skinny waist. “I hate people like that,” is all he says, but she still sees his look.

“Hasn't anyone ever told you not to comment on a woman's weight?”

“Which is why I didn't say a thing,” he reassures her.

“Oh look, an old dog _can_ learn new tricks,” she teases.

“I take offense to that,” he sticks her tongue out at her.

Jane, being wiser and more mature than he is, returns the gesture.

Tony grins. Yeah, having them here is going to be great.

-xxx-

**The Truth Behind The Accords**

**Edan Stark Cries Aliens**

**Making Waves: Stark Shocks World**

**A Hero Tarnished: Stark Against America**

-xxx-

The next few days develop a sort of a pattern. Or as much of one as Tony can ever have, that is. Everyone eats breakfast together, then Jane and Tony go to the workshop while Rhodey and Darcy bond over... something. Tony's a little afraid to ask. Although she _did_ get Rhodey a shirt. He knows because he wore it to breakfast the second day.

“Starting a new trend?”

“Peter has to show up eventually, doesn't he?”

“And people think _I'm_ the little shit in this relationship.”

“Had to learn it from somewhere, didn't I?”

“Yeah, you're asshole older cousin. Where do you think _I_ learned it from?”

“As if you weren't born with it.”

Jane and Tony are still stuck, trying to figure out where Tony's powers comes from. And just what exactly Tony's powers _are_. Let alone what Jane is capable of doing. While she has minor physical enhancements, it's nothing like Tony can do. So far, everything seems physical for him. Jane's seems much more mental based.

“Alright, so any idea what the Aether even does?” he asks, exasperated after Jane blew up another machine. Not that Tony is annoyed by the explosion part. He loves explosions. But Jane has no idea how to control said explosions and that's the worrying part.

“No,” she huffs, “everyone was too busy freaking out that I had it inside of me to begin with. No one took the time to _explain_ anything. Because heaven forbid we tell the mortal what is happening to her. I'm lucky to know the Aether is an Infinity Stone. That was something I just heard in passing.”

Tony frowns. “No one? Not even Frigga? You said she was nice to you. I thought she might mention it.”

“Not much, no. She was more focused on keeping me calm and safe than keeping me informed.” A sad look crosses her face. “I'm sorry that she died to save me. She seemed like she was a wonderful woman.”

“Thor always made her seem so. Not that he mentioned Asgard much. Well, not the important bits. I heard a lot about Loki, but that's because I was willing to listen. Frankly, the rest was mostly stories of the battles he had been in.” He pulls a face.

Jane laughs. “That was a bad habit of his. Oh god, you should have seen him when he first arrived. He was so clueless. I mean, he was on another planet, with a new culture, but god,” she laughs, “I thought he was crazy. Actually at first I thought he was concussed. I ran over him with my truck.”

“You didn't!” Tony gasps as a grin takes over his face.

“I did. And then Darcy tazed him. Twice.”

Tony cackles in delight. “No wonder he was always vague when we asked about how you guys met. He didn't want to admit,” he trails off, unable to continue because he was laughing so hard.

Jane smiles fondly. “He does have his moments.” She sounds a bit wistful.

“Second thoughts about the break up?”

She shakes her head. “No. I think I always knew it would never work. Crown Prince of another Realm – that's pushing the long distance relationship a bit. Even then, he had this habit of coming into my life, turning everything on it's head and then just... leaving again. I know he had other responsibilities, but he never seemed to slow down enough to take a break just for me. For us. There was always something else. That's not too much to ask, is it? To have just a little quality time with your boyfriend?”

Tony, thinking of past experiences, shakes his head. “No it's not. If he can't see what a treasure he has right in front of him, then he doesn't deserve you.”

Jane lets out a slightly desperate chuckle. “A _god_ that doesn't deserve _me_. That's a new one. Usually it's the other way around.”

“Yeah well people can suck it. You're fucking amazing and don't let anyone tell you differently.”

“You know, it's a good thing I know you're already taken or I would be worried right now.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “I can give you a damn compliment without hitting on you. Besides, I get tired of being called jailbait.”

Jane smirks at him, looking much happier now.

“No,” Tony tells her before she can say whatever she plans. “Just no. Obviously you've been spending too much time with Darcy if thoughts like that are running through your head.”

“You don't even know what I was going to say.”

“I don't have to, that look said it all.”

“Well technically _you_ are the person I talk to the most anymore. So you only have yourself to blame,” she tells him, then pauses before saying, “Oh god, is it weird my best friend is a de-aged seventeen year old boy? Because it sounds weird in my head and not much better out loud.”

Tony blinks at her. He heard the words, but they don't seem to be computing. Best friend?

“Tony?” Jane asks, concerned, “I didn't break you, did I?”

“Best friend?” he asks out loud.

Emotions flit over her face before she nods. “Yes genius, I consider you my best friend. Problem?”

“What about Darcy? You've known her longer. You live with her. You, you, you know,” he waves his hands around. “I'm just someone you science with.”

“Tony,” Jane sighs, “why do you think I called you first when I was freaking out?”

“Because I'm a fellow scientist? Or because I've been magically de-aged so I'd handle it better? I mean, let's be real here, Darcy would not have helped the conversation. Not the way you wanted it to. Darcy is great, but calm doesn't really enter her vocabulary. Then again, she should be used to handling your weird shit by now, so why _didn't_ you call her?”

Jane groans. “I just told you. Because you're my _best friend_ you dense idiot you. How hard is that to understand?”

Tony looks away, not wanting to admit that the answer is 'Pretty damn hard'. There are... reasons behind it. Reasons Tony doesn't really like to think about. Much less now that he is seventeen again and only counting some of those problems. But still. Reasons. And none of them have a happy ending either. Because life sucks a dick. Badly.

“Tony?”

“I am never repeating this,” he warns, “but until all of this shit happen, I could count the number of people on one hand that have never screwed me over, used me or tried to hurt me one way or another. My Father was a fucking asshole. Out of three serious partners, only Pepper turned out not to be an abusive, manipulating jackass. My Godfather tried to kill me – twice. My teammates fucked me over and Rogers almost killed me. And that's not counting the number of small betrayals that have followed me everywhere I go. My life is a series of fuck ups and I have enough issues to fund a psychiatrist for the rest of their lives. Yes, it is hard for me to understand.”

Jane just blinks at him, seemingly shocked at the outburst. Tony can't blame her. He wasn't expecting it either. It just kind of... slipped out.

He pulls a face. “Ew, emotions,” he complains, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

That seems to break the spell because Jane snorts and then giggles and then starts full out laughing. She clutches her stomach and laughs helplessly.

Tony rolls his eyes and goes back to his research. Whatever.

When Jane finally gets her breath back, she is smiling. “I'm not sure whether to be amused or appalled,” she admits. “Also, I can't do much about your Father or Godfather, but I can... talk to one of your exes, if you want.”

Tony shakes his head, but the smile on his face feels way too fond. “Nah, they're not worth the effort after so long. Besides, Rhodey already _talked_ ,” he emphasizes teasingly, “to them.” He looks back down. “Thanks though. I'd return the favor if my platypus didn't already own my heart. How do you feel about sharing the title? You can be my Gal Pal.”

Jane throws a wrench at him.

“Is that a no?”

“Shut up you little shit,” she says.

“Now I know you've been spending too much time with me. Clearly I'm a bad influence. I'm so proud of myself.”

“Eyes back on the work Stark. Any more ideas in that brilliant head of yours?”

“Tons. They never shut up. But for our current problem? Unfortunately those are lacking. It just makes no sense. It's clear that whatever the hell the Aether is, that is the source of your power. All my readings though point straight back to the Tesseract. And I still can't think of any time I spent time working on the Tesseract, let alone touched it.”

“Nothing? Did anything happen during the invasion that could have been lying dormant?”

Tony shakes his head. “No. I mean, I shot at it, but it never connected. There was a force field around it already. Then I made sure got it, and Loki, the hell off the planet before SHIELD did something stupid like try and steal it. Again. Or Loki. I have a feeling trying to steal Loki would have gone worse then trying to steal the Tesseract.”

Jane hums in agreement. “Thor is protective of him. Even when he was clearly mad and arguing with him, he still clung to him. From what I heard of their conversation, there's a lot of history there. More than we'll probably be ever able to understand. They live for centuries after all.”

Tony nods. “I always got the feeling we weren't being told everything. It's hardly a surprise to have that confirmed. Can't imagine what that conversation would be like though.”

“ _Interesting_ ,” Jane says dryly.

“Front seat to family drama. Thank god I was an only child. The only good thing Howard did. Can't imagine having a sibling on top of the rest of the mess.”

“I always wanted a sister when I was younger. Then I realized that I didn't once I hit middle school and they were all brats.”

“Middle school? Try high school.”

“Weren't you middle school age _when_ you were in high school?”

“Yup. I started MIT at age fourteen.”

“You know, I knew that before, but it explains so much now.”

“What?”

“Your social skills.”

“I feel that was an insult. Was that an insult?”

“I don't know genius, you tell me.”

“Well now I definitely feel insulted.”

“Good,” she smiles, “now anything else new?”

Tony sighs. “No,” he pouts. “At this point I think our best bet is experimentation. And if we experiment, we are going to have to tell the others. There's no way we're going to be able to hide it. Especially since I want to try in the field outside and not in the gym. Your explosions aren't exactly subtle.”

“And like _anything_ you do is?”

“Never said it wasn't. Personally, I plan on trying to do the same. I refuse to believe that you can do something I can't. Obviously our powers are going to be different, coming from different sources, but it seems odd that I only have physical enhancements. The Tesseract is a portal of some kind, combined with infinite energy. That doesn't really scream big, blonde and buff. Without the blonde part of course.” He shudders. He looks horrid as a blonde. Those pictures ever resurface and he is burning everything to the ground.

“Makes sense,” she agrees, then slumps. “I was afraid you'd say that.”

Tony sighs. “Me too. I mean, we can always call Stef and Vision, but Stef is busy doing his own thing and Vision,” he shakes his head. “We're still going to need to figure this out eventually. Better now than when something is happening that we really need to.”

Jane is silent before she nods. “Right. Good idea. There are so many tests we need to do. Maybe then we can figure things out better.”

“Right,” Tony nods, “we just need to tell the others first. No big deal.”

“Exactly. We're only telling them we aren't technically human any more. How hard can that be?”

“It's not even that bad either. Now, instead of ordinary, we're extraordinary. What's not to like about that?”

“Still the same. Just a little extra added now.”

“Couldn't have put it better myself.”

They exchange looks.

Easy. Right.

-xxx-

**Like Father Like Son: Controversial Stark**

**Captain America Unstable: An Insider View**

**Off The Rocker And Into The Rocket: Is Stark Right?**

**Behind The Mask**

-xxx-

A week later and neither Jane nor Tony have worked up the courage to tell the others. They're only putting off the inevitable. Tony knows that. And it's not like he thinks they're really going to care that much either. Maybe a little concerned about the whole thing, but it's not like they are going to have a major freak out.

Or maybe they might. In fact, they probably will. If they ultimately care or not is beside the point. Tony and Jane are no longer human. How do you tell someone that? It's not as if you can bring it up in casual conversation. It's something so fundamentally life changing that Tony still is having trouble coming to terms with it. How does one deal with it?

How did Rogers deal with it? He went from ninety pounds wet, sickly and weak to America's wet dream come true. He remembers the stories Aunt Peggy told. The first one, how Rogers was up and running minutes after everything to chase down Erskine's killer. Did he have a freak out later? Did he have trouble adjusting to his new body. Tony knows the scientists were all but drooling over him when he came back. Howard had notes detailing these kind of things exactly. What they don't mention is Roger's thoughts on the process.

But he doesn't want to think about Rogers. The man almost destroyed him once – if in spirit, if not body, although he almost did that too. So what about Peter? His story is definitely comic book material. Bitten by a spider and suddenly develop super powers. How did he deal with it? They've never really talked about that before.

Still, it means he will understand. He will be there for Tony. He knows what Tony is going through. It's not as if he's going to freak and dump his ass or anything like that.

There's a difference, though, between Peter and Rogers compared to Tony and Jane. The former two received super powers, sure, and new bodies and abilities to go with it. But they are still human. That's the part Tony is having the most trouble with. He could handle the other stuff. What's super powers when you're already a superhero? Not that much of a game changer. Although he is going to have to test the suit to make sure everything is still compatible with his new powers. But that mental note is beside the point. He gained something wonderful, but at what price?

The old 'be careful what you wish for, you just might get it' doesn't even apply here. Sure there had been times when Tony wished he could do everything over, but he never gave it any serious thought. It never solidified into something more tangible than a vague 'what if'. And he certainly hadn't been thinking it when Loki showed up. He had been thinking that he was tired and just wanted it to end.

Loki may have given Tony a second chance, but he also did a hell of a lot more than that. He took away his humanity. Does that mean he has changed Tony? Or is he still the same person, just with extras? He doesn't know. What if... what if there is more in the fine print he didn't get to read? What if there is a price he isn't prepared to pay?

Damn God of Mischief. It's not something terribly surprising that there is more than meets the eye when it comes to this particular god. Even if he didn't already meet him, he would have known this. Tony has played with entropy enough to know what to expect. That chaos follows is no surprise. But just what kind of chaos are we talking here? The unknown factor makes Tony cautious.

It's been weighing him down. It's weighing both of them down and he knows the others have noticed. They keep sending them 'subtle' concerned looks when they think they won't see. Darcy brings them coffee and food in the workshop. Rhodey keeps pulling him into crazy theory debates and movies. Peter just pouts, the one time he has been over so far, and clings to Tony.

How sad that Rhodey hadn't been wearing his shirt then. Next time. Tony should wear his too. Peter is already grumbling about how he endorsed IronSpider in his interview. He didn't appreciate the 'at least it's not Pedan' from Tony either. He loves Peter.

Not literally of course, it's _way_ too soon for that. Tony shouldn't even be thinking about it. Too soon to even joke. It's only been three months next Tuesday. Definitely too soon to be thinking about the 'L' word. Definitely.

And if Tony might find himself falling slowly down that path? Well. That's another panic for another day.

So at the end of the week, Rhodey declares a family supper and movie night. It's so clearly an intervention that Tony can't even tease him about it. It's that painfully obvious. Not that he doesn't appreciate the gesture. He knows it means he cares. But at the same time it makes Tony so nervous he thinks he is going to throw up. His stomach just clenches at the thought of what is going to happen today.

Since it's a Friday night, Peter has permission to spend the night, which should make everything better. He's had a busy week at school and only had time to stop by once. The rest of the time they've been texting instead. Hell, they even drug Ned and Pepper into this.

So they are all sitting around the table eating. Peter is refusing to look at Tony, Rhodey or Darcy because they are wearing their 'IronSpider for President' shirts. Tony was right. His blush was _adorable_. It was even better when Ned asked for one too.

“So Tony,” Pepper starts, “what is this oh so important project you and Jane have been working on? The one that is keeping you from completing the paperwork I need?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

Tony grins brightly at her, “Well Pep, it's funny you asked. You see, er, why don't you explain Jane?”

“Me? She asked _you_. Don't throw me under the bus.”

“I'm not throwing you under the bus. I love your brain too much for that. I just thought I'd offer.”

“Offer. Right. More like chicken out.”

“Oh like you're handling this any better.”

“If anyone should be freaking out, it's me! You should be used to this shit, you're the one who was a superhero before this. I got sucked into it because I hit Thor with my truck! He never stuck around long enough for me to get use to crazy things happening.”

“And I was kidnapped and tortured by terrorists! That's not a better start, that's fucking traumatizing. I was a goddamn mess. It didn't get any better the longer I went on either. Fuck Jane, I told you what a nut case I was. By the end of it I was fucking broken.”

“You were not broken Tony,” Peter protests.

“Alright, one of you tell us what the hell is going on,” Rhodey demands.

“Wait, is this like, something big?” Ned asks, “Like Tony getting de-aged? Cause that is awesome. So something like that?”

Tony and Jane trade a look.

“If I may Boss man, Lady Star, I think it's better if I take over from here.”

Tony and Jane share another look, shrug and then nod, both feeling a bit relieved.

“It would seem that both Boss and Lady Star have been experiencing odd phenomenons lately. Both are able to achieve things they have not been able to before. After some study, it appears that Lady Star has been influenced by her time with the Aether and Boss with the Tesseract, although we are still unsure how that happen. In essence, their blood results show that they are no longer human.”

A long, drawn out silence follows FRIDAY's announcement. Neither Tony nor Jane will look at any of the others. Tony fidgets, feeling both nervous and hopeful.

It's Ned that breaks it. “That is awesome!” he says excitedly, “Like Peter is cool because he's Spider-Man. But now Tony and Jane aren't human anymore? Wicked man. You have super powers now right? What kind of cool things can you do?”

Tony lifts his gaze to look at Ned before looking back down. “I could match Loki in a fight if he didn't use magic. We're fairly even by the looks of it.”

“I keep making things explode,” Jane admits.

“Awesome balls!” Darcy grins, “so it _that's_ what happen to your old computer?”

“I got angry,” Jane blushes.

Tony watches as Darcy and Jane look at each other and oh. _Oh_. That explains so much. No wonder Jane considers Tony her best friend and not Darcy. Looks like 'friends' isn't what she has in mind at all. And it looks like Darcy feels the same. He's going to have to do something about that. They helped him get Peter after all. It's only right to return the favor.

“Tony?” Peter asks.

Tony turns and looks at him.

Peter doesn't say anything else before he pulls Tony into a tight hug. “You're not broken and it doesn't matter if you're technically human or not anymore. You're amazing and kind and smart and kind and awesome and I love the way your nose scrunches when your stuck on a problem and the way your eyes light up when you're excited and-”

Tony starts laughing right then as Peter babbles on. He feels his face heat up and curses Peter's ability to make him blush. Talk dirty to him and Tony can match it word for word. He has no shame left. But compliment him and he turns bright red. He's not use to it.

“Looks like it's a Tuesday,” Rhodey says dryly when Tony glances over at him.

Pepper sighs. “Why is it always you Tony?”

“Because a god digs my brain.”

She groans. “Damn it, I thought we were over that.”

“We are never going to be over that. I was told by a god of an advanced alien civilization that my intelligence matches other near immortal Realms. There's no topping that.”

“I still plan to kill him.”

“Still don't think you should plan on that sticking.”

“Good. Then I can do it more than once.”

Tony laughs.

“No, ok, but seriously, what else can you do? Can you really kick Loki's ass?” Ned asks.

“So far everything I know is physical. We know there has to be more because I'm getting this from the Tesseract. Somehow. What we don't know is how it happen. Obviously the assumption is that Loki did it somehow, but that almost doesn't make sense. He de-aged me within seconds – less than a minute. Would he have been able to push this into my blood at the same time? How? He didn't have the Tesseract with him. But I was never exposed to it before. Most of our tests have been in the workshop so far, but we need to practice to figure everything out.”

“Outside, I hope,” Pepper says.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Obviously Pep.”

“So that's what you've been freaking the fuck out about man. Dumb ass, you should have just told me. You know I'm use to your shit by now,” Rhodey says.

Tony shrugs as well as he can with Peter still hugging him. “Losing your humanity... it's not something easily mentioned.”

“You didn't lose your _humanity_. You're genetic makeup has been changed, but you haven't changed into a monster. You're potential for chaos has just increased, god help us all,” Pepper says.

“A god already 'helped'. I don't think you want him revisiting the situation,” Rhodey tells her, “Who knows what he would give the idiot next.”

“Honey bear,” Tony protests, “I thought you loved me?”

“I do. Which is why I said it. Who knows what other dumb ideas you would get stuck in your head? That's where most of your problems usually start.”

Tony pouts. “All my ideas are brilliant and how dare you suggest otherwise.”

“I dare because I shared a dorm with you. I know what all kinds of crazy things you thought about – or tried to build.”

“Oh like you were any better. I just got more attention because of my last name. And more of the blame too. Which, I might add, you took shameless advantage of. Besides, I still remember you trying to build a gravitational shield.”

“Oh just because you managed to build a lightsaber, you think you're the best. And I took advantage because of all the other shit you dragged me into. It was more than the other way around.”

“You built a lightsaber!” Ned shouts excitedly. “Dude, that's like, the epitome of awesome. Have you built anything else Star Wars? Can I have one? Why haven't you ever said anything, people think it's impossible.”

“I was young, drunk and copyright. Although I think they might forgive me if I let them know for the sheer advertising it would bring. And, um, no.”

“Can _I_ have one?” Peter asks hopefully.

Tony considers, turning to look at his large, brown eyes. He looks like a puppy. He is also definitely doing it on purpose. “No,” he repeats.

“Why not?” Peter pouts.

“Because sweet pea, I can see you tripping over something and cutting yourself in half.”

“I would not!” he protests, indignant.

“You're a teenager, of course you would. The awkward phase is a law of nature.”

“And what about you?”

“I never said I was going to pull mine out. I'm still adjusting to this shit.”

Peter frowns. “You should have said something earlier. I could have helped. It sucks having your body suddenly change like that.”

Tony hums in agreement, but doesn't say anything else. He's already said why he didn't. No need to drag it out more.

“This is going to be awesome,” Ned grins.

“Hey Jane, does this mean I'm upgraded from intern to sidekick? That would be amazing balls. I'd be the best sidekick ever. Actually I already am one, but now it be official cause you're all powerful and stuff,” Darcy says.

“Darcy, technically you're not my intern anymore. You got your college credits a while ago.”

“Details. Does it?”

Jane's smile has a soft edge to it that Tony wonders how he's never seen before. He's not that oblivious to emotions, is he? “Sure, it means you can be my sidekick.”

“Yes!” Darcy fist pumps, “This is going to be great. I'm going to pick a cool name. And a costume. And weapons, oh yes. I definitely want my taser. No, an upgraded taser. Tony can I have an upgraded taser? Too bad it wasn't possible to give yourself superpowers without any unfortunate accidents happening. I'd totally go for that. Everyone else is getting them around here.”

'Give yourself superpowers'. Something about that phrase makes Tony sit up straight, finally breaking Peter's embrace.'Give yourself superpowers'. Why does that ring a bell in his head? An idea is slowly forming. A solution to... something.'Give yourself superpowers'. What is it? What could he possibly – “Oh my god,” he shouts, “I'm an idiot. Damn it, how can I be such an idiot? I'm suppose to be a genius, what the fuck.” He stands up and takes off for the workshop.

“Tones?”

“What is it now Tony?”

“Tony?”

He hears the others call, but he doesn't slow down. When he doesn't respond, he hears them get up and come after him. That's fine, it'll save him time explaining if they're all right there anyways. But damn, how could he be so stupid? He's suppose to be a genius for a reason. To be fair though, it was the last thing on his mind, especially with his memory that way it is. He hasn't touched the project since before the Ultron mess. Still. “Fry doll, bring up my notes on Extremis.”

Someone gasps behind him. He's pretty sure it's Pepper. Oops. Should have gotten to that point _before_ she came in. But then he had almost forgotten, in the heat of the moment, what that was like for her. She's already had this in her, if not this version. He and Bruce had modified it more after Tony's initial work to remove it from Pep and use it to have the arc reactor moved. He wonders if he should buy her a new pair of shoes for this.

“Right away Boss.”

Within seconds Tony's notes are lit up across the room, making it glow blue. He sorts through them quickly, trying to find what part he wants. “Ah ha! Here you are,” he says triumphantly as he reads.

“Tony?” Pepper's voice has a barely noticeable shake to it.

He offers her a sheepish grin. “Sorry Pep. But this isn't the kind that will make you explode. That was the first thing I fixed. I've fixed it a lot since then. Not only is it fully stable, it's reliable and successful as well.” He looks at Rhodey. “I don't have to make you new legs, I just have to fix your old ones.”

Rhodey stares at him, seemingly speechless. Sure Tony has been working on the exoskeleton braces, but they still need more work and improvements. He can only where them for about an hour or so a day before he has to go back to the wheelchair. But this... this is the cure all the doctors told him would be impossible to achieve.

“Are you sure?” he finally asks.

Tony nods. “I wouldn't have told you if I weren't. It's still not something I would release to the public – there's still too much potential for abuse. But it'll work. I can heal your spine. Hell, it might even give you a minor boost. That's a good thing right?”

“Come here man,” Rhodey says as he rolls over. When Tony is close enough, he pulls him down for a hug. And if that hug is a bit wet? Well, Tony will never tell.

“You _are_ going to be careful with this, aren't you Tony?” Pepper asks.

Tony nods. “I promise Pep. I plan on calling Dr Cho in on this. She'll make sure everything runs smoothly.”

She gives a sharp nod. “Right. Good.”

“Don't worry, everything will be fine.”

“That's what you usually say right before something explodes,” she says dryly.

“So little faith in me.”

“So much faith in your chaos you mean.”

Tony laughs. “What? A little chaos is good for the soul,” he protests.

-xxx-

**From Gods To Invaders: The New Frontier**

**Preparing For The Future: What Is To Come**

**Like Father Like Son: Controversial Stark**

**Captain America: Truth Or Legend?**

-xxx-

The next week is a fury of activity. The day after Tony had his revelation, he called Dr Cho. From there, it was double checking and re analyzing and preparing. It wasn't surgery they were going to do per se, but it totally is, and Dr Cho wanted to be able to observe everything while it happen in case something went wrong.

And Rhodey had already pulled Tony aside and talked to him about what he wanted – the reuse of his legs, obviously. But he wanted more than that. He read the notes to know what Extremis could do. He wanted an extra boost along with the healing. In their line of work, it only seems practical to him. And he never wants to feel that helpless again.

So Tony agrees and passes on the message and the notes to Dr Cho. He answers all her questions and lets her at it.

He actually spends most of that week with Pepper instead. Extremis still brings up some bad memories for her and, while she'll never admit it, it's bothering her more than usual now. Which, fair enough. It wasn't a fun time for either of them. Pepper is allowed to be as traumatized as she wants. Tony certainly isn't going to judge her for that. And if that means filling out paperwork and sitting through boring Board meetings, so be it.

Pepper is one of his best friends, even if he technically hasn't even met her yet at his original seventeen. He didn't hire her until he was twenty three. It's... annoying, not having any true memories of someone your mind insists is one of your best friends.

Because there's always a downside to everything. Loki's spell is no different. It not only erased the trauma, but everything else as well.

Tony is sitting on top of Pepper's desk, fiddling with a pen, while Pep sits behind it and works on the latest contract they need to go over. “Whatever it is, you might as well say it,” she tells him without looking up.

“How would you feel about having your own suit?” he blurts out.

_That_ gets her to look up. “My own _suit_? As in, my own Iron Man suit?”

He nods.

She sighs. “Tell me you didn't.”

“I didn't?” he asks more than says.

“ _Tony_ ,” she says as she gives him a look.

But Tony shakes his head. “I mean, I have the blueprints for one, but I never actually made it. I know superheroes and superpowers aren't your thing. And that's ok!” he reassures her, “You aren't completely comfortable with it and I totally respect that. But I still built you your own suit. I've had it for a while now, but never brought it up before. Now seems like a good time. I thought you should know you have an option.”

“One superhero CEO was enough. I'm not going to drop everything just to go fight giant pink bunnies or whatever the emergency is this week.”

“And that's fair. I get that, I really do. The suit I designed isn't for heavy fighting anyways. I built it for protection for you. I know Extremis is bringing up bad memories. I know you felt helpless during it. I designed it so you never had to feel helpless again. I don't want to push you into something you're not, but I'd thought it be better if you had one.”

“You're not expecting me to fight?”

Tony quickly shakes his head, “No, no, no. Not at all. I know all the shit I put you through was why we were on break to begin with. I don't blame you for taking one. I know everyone assumes it's your job to look after me, but you have to take care of yourself too.”

“It's so weird hearing this from a teenager.”

Tony crosses his arms. “Why is everyone forever bringing that up?” he complains, “I'm younger, I get it. But everyone is _always_ calling me jailbait anymore and I'm beginning to really hate it.”

“You have to admit, this is odd even by our standards,” Pepper says gently. “Isn't joking your main coping mechanism? I thought you would recognize it.”

“At least I don't use the same joke to death,” he grumbles.

“No, you are certainly nothing if not creative.” She smiles at him, then frowns. “How are you taking everything? Are you still freaking out about the genetic makeover?”

“Freaking out? Me? Why would I freak out about that?”

She gives him a look.

He shrugs. “A little bit. I don't think this is something that's going to go away quickly. Having the support helps, but,” he shrugs again, “I can't say it's body horror – this isn't the arc reactor – but it's still a shock.”

Pepper nods. “At least this won't make you explode,” she says dryly.

“Point. Which brings us back to the topic at hand. Say Yes To the Suit?”

“And here I thought you didn't watch that show?”

Tony raises his head, nose upturned. In his most obnoxious voice he says, “Miss Potts, I am a genius. I have a very sophisticated taste when it comes to all things, tv shows included. Do you really believe 'Say Yes To the Dress' a is part of that category?”

Pepper snorts.

“It's mindless tv when I can't sleep,” he admits, “After a certain point I'm not allowed to watch Mythbusters anymore. I have to find _something_.”

“And I remember _why_ we have that rule to begin with.”

“Ah Pep, it wasn't that bad was it?”

“No, you're right. It wasn't that bad.”

“Thank you.”

“It was worse.”

“Hey! Nothing exploded, did it?”

“I almost wish it had.”

Tony grins. “You love me and you know it.”

“Debatable some days.”

“True love right there. So? Do you? It's awesome. Of course it's awesome, I built it after all. But really, you should at least see the plans. I think you'll like it.”

Pepper looks at him and sighs again. “Fine. It's not red and gold is it?”

“Why, are you questioning my taste in color?” he asks. When all she does is roll her eyes at him, he grins even wider. “No it's not,” he reassures, “I was thinking more of a fuchsia and gold. Or maybe plum and gold. You want stylish, but subtle.”

“I'm surprised you even know what that word means. Alright, show it to me.”

Tony grabs his Starkpad and brings it up. “See?” With a push of a button, it projects upward. “It's designed with you in mind – much more sleek than the one I built Rhodey. His is more bulky because of the weapons installed in it. You're doesn't have all of that. It's more sleek than mine too, actually. Not that you don't have _any_ weapons, that would defeat its purpose. But it's still focused on defense. The repulstor blasters are still your main weapon. I added some missiles in the shoulders as well. I thought calling it Rescue. What do you think?” he asks excitedly.

“Should I be glad there aren't any boobs on the outside to make me look female?”

Tony makes a wounded noise. “Pep,” he says, scandalized, “Not only it that sexist and something from second rate anime, do you know how much that would throw off your entire fight pattern? It's such a stupid design, do you have any idea how much you would have to compensate for that extra weight? A lot, that's how much. And it makes you more of a target. There might as well be a sign on them, 'Target, hit me'. They always stick out _way_ too much, basically _no_ woman has boobs that big, especially with the rest of those girls body shapes and-”

“Tony,” Pepper cuts him off, laughing, “I get it. No anime boobs. Anime boobs are bad.” Amusement dances in her eyes as she looks at him.

He huffs, “Exactly, thank you. Besides it's not as if it's impossible not to accommodate for your boobs _inside_ the suit. Which I did, by the way. Not like I don't know your bra size.”

“Alright, now _that_ sounded like jailbait.”

“Pepper!” he whines.

“And you remembered my bra size, but not your social security number?”

He shrugs. “Yes? Is there a problem there?”

“Some people would probably say something about priorities right now.”

“Mine are fine,” he defends, “I know how important a good bra is, you've complained about them enough times. It's handy to know what the most comfortable brands are. I can't buy you shoes _all_ the time and sometimes the perfect dress needs the perfect bra to go with it.”

Pepper hums. “You did have a knack for that,” she agrees, “I had always assumed JARVIS picked it out.”

“JARVIS took care of the dress. I took care of the bras.”

Pepper laughs.

“What?”

“The way your mind works, Tony. I still don't understand it.”

“Not many people do,” he shrugs, “you come close, if it's any consolation.”

“Some days I think I do, but then you say something like this. You are truly something else.”

“I try to be,” he smiles, “So I'd like to have you test drive the suit after I build it. Get use to it, see if there are any bugs, tell me if I need to dumb it down a little more or not.”

Pepper raises an eyebrow. “Dumb it down?” she repeats.

“Not like that. I mean with the interface. If it's too much for you, you'll get a tension migraine and I know what a bitch those are.”

She nods in agreement.

“Right, so my brain is basically made to multi task. That means I have at least ten different things going on in the screens in my mask. Now Rhodey, while smart, isn't use to multi tasking quite as much. His interface is much simpler for that reason. Now I know you're better at multitasking, not as good as I am of course, but then again no one is.”

Pepper snorts.

“But you're still use to it. I want to check and make sure I got it right. If nothing else, you still might have to get use to it before you don't have to worry about them. Plus it's a good idea to make sure you test it around someone who already knows what they are doing.”

“Oh really? And just how well did your first test go then?” she teases.

“I am a genius. They went fine.”

“Hmmm, I distinctly remember something about an 'icing problem'?”

“Minor details,” he waves off.

“That's what I thought.”

“Humph. Anyways, you should spend more time at the Compound. You'll have more company than asshole businessmen and you and Jane can bond. Plus I'm thinking about making Darcy my new PA.”

“They're staying then?”

“They haven't said anything, but it's pretty clear, yeah. Jane is going to have to learn how to control her new powers and since they're similar to mine in origins, it makes sense for her to stay and figure them out with me. I know Darcy can do it too because she did a great job with Jane.”

“You don't think Jane will mind? Isn't Darcy supposed to be _her_ sidekick?” she asks, a smile on her lips.

“Oh she wants to be more than her sidekick,” he confides mischievously.

Pepper leans forward, sensing excellent gossip. “Oh?”

“She wants Jane. And Jane is gone on her. I saw it the other night, they are pining for each other. I plan on helping them out.”

“Do you really think that's a good idea?”

“They helped get me and Peter together. I want to return the favor. Besides, I like Jane and Darcy. I want them to be happy.”

“And you're harebrained scheme is going to work?”

“I resent that. My schemes aren't that bad.”

“Shall I mention the strawberries or the giant stuffed bunny rabbit?”

“Alright, so the strawberries were a mistake, but Mr Fluffy was adorable, you have to admit.”

“Mr Fluffy?”

“What? What else do you name a rabbit?”

“Thank god FRIDAY named you,” Pepper says instead of answering.

“She did a good job, didn't she. I'm proud of her, she's come a long ways from when I first installed her. She was something JARVIS and I were working on together.”

Pepper's face softens. “I'm sure he would be proud too.”

Tony hums in agreement.

Something else happened, two days before Rhodey was ready – Vision finally returned.

“Mr Stark,” Vision greets when Tony walks into the kitchen. He is at the stove, cooking an omelet, so someone – most likely FRIDAY – told him that Tony was up and wanting breakfast. Ever since the whole de-aging thing, Tony has found himself having to eat more without skipping his meals. Looking back, he really should have noticed something sooner...

He goes directly to the coffee pot, only to find a fresh pot already waiting for him. Yeah, he was definitely forewarned. He inhales the first cup without tasting it or burning his tongue. What a useful skill that. Over the years he has built up a tolerance for the heat, but no burn at all? Awesome. The second cup is sipped slower, moaning at the taste. Nectar of the gods right here. Once the caffeine kicks in he blinks and then shakes his head.

“Tony,” he corrects, “I know we've had this conversation before. Mr Stark makes me feel old – even older now. So how has life been treating you? See the sights and all that?” He feels slightly awkward. Before, he was never comfortable around Vision, given how he was created. He was both too much like JARVIS and never enough.

Now he doesn't feel like he knows the other at all. And Lovelace knows how well he is able to make friends. It's a miracle he has as many as he does right now. An act of god. Or maybe Loki. He snickers silently to himself. When Vision looks questioningly at him, he waves him off. “Unimportant,” he says.

Vision nods and places the omelet before him. “Thanks Viz.”

“You are welcome... Tony. I have been practicing.”

“Yeah? How did that go?”

“It went well. I spent some time with Professor Xavier at his school. He was willing to help me. While there some of the others volunteered as willing taste testers.”

Tony nods and hums as he starts eating. All that practice definitely helped. The omelet is delicious. “Was he able to help?” he asks, thinking that the X-Men would make excellent allies for the coming battle. Whenever that is. He really wishes he had a timeline here. It would make things easier. And probably at least ten times more stressful, but better than not knowing. Thus far he's shooting in the dark.

Hmmm, he wonders if he sends something up into space if he could get any feedback. Then again, if they are already in the galaxy then they're in even more trouble than before. Still, it's something to look into. He wishes he had more information period. Frankly all he knows is that a threat is coming. He doesn't know when, he doesn't know where and he has no idea about the numbers behind them. It's infuriating as well as worrying.

“FRIDAY has informed me all that has taken place since my absence.”

“Oh good, so you know about the whole not human thing. Glad I don't have to explain it again.”

Vision nods. “She... also suggested that you might benefit from a conversation about it.”

“Ugh, no. We are not talking about _feelings_. I'm allergic to feelings. No need to trouble yourself about it buddy. I am dealing with it fine.”

“If you would excuse me saying so, I believe that is not true,” he pauses, “Despite being my own... person, I still have memories of my previous code. I have never brought this up before because I knew it would upset you. But now I feel that you should know. JARVIS knew you better than any other person alive. He passed some of that knowledge onto me. You are not taking it well.”

Tony about chokes on his last bite. Shit. Viz has memories of JARVIS? Well, that... he isn't sure what to do with that actually. It means less now, but still... He completed the AI when he was twenty one and the AI promptly became his best friend. And his son, in a way. He remembers how intensely he grieved. He also remembers no one else understanding what he lost that day.

Now Vision is in front of him telling him that part of JARVIS is still alive inside of him. Does that mean that he is Tony's grandson? Fuck what a mess. As if Ultron wasn't a mess enough as is. He runs a hand through his hair. “How do you do it?” His hand clenches, pulling on the hair between his fingers. “How do you pretend to be human when you aren't?”

Vision takes his time answering, clearly thinking about it. “It seems to me as if you are mixing up your definitions here. Language has a way of playing words off of one another. Being human means you are a homosapien sapien. Humanity can also be used for such a definition. But it is more than that. Being human is not simply a species, it is a way of life. It is who we are as a people. Your genes may have changed, but that did not erase your personality, your compassion and kindness, your understanding and love. Your body may be different, but your heart is still the same.”

Tony stares at him, feeling slightly stunned. Did he just get a philosophy lesson here? Because it kind of feels like he did...

“Simply because I am not human does not mean I cannot be humane,” he finishes.

Alright, scratch that, he _definitely_ just got a philosophy lesson here. “Fine Socrates, but if the genes don't matter then why call it humanity to begin with?”

Vision shrugs. “Humans are the dominating culture on this planet. We model everything after ourselves. What else would it be called? I am sure the same concept exists on other planets, but is modeled after themselves instead. What it is called is not as important as how you behave.”

“It's too early for this shit,” Tony grumbles as he drinks his coffee. He knows Vision is right. It's the same thing the others have been telling both him and Jane since they were told. But it means more, coming from Vision. Maybe because he is living it himself. Although he was never human to begin with, so it isn't exactly the same. Still the thought counts. “The hell happened to me anyways?” he continues to grumble, “lately all I've been spewing out is emotions. I hate emotions.”

“Perhaps it is because at this age, you have not fully internalized that emotions are a weakness yet. You are more in tune with them so they are easier to access.”

“Seriously Socrates, I'm serious about it being too early. Besides, that sounds like a way of saying that I was a hot mess when I was younger. Which I was. Then I grew up and the mess just evolved with me.”

“Somehow I feel as if you have missed the point I was trying to make.”

He shrugs. “Live and learn I guess. Anyways, you mentioned Xavier. Was he any help at all figuring out the Mind Stone or are we still at square one here?”

“He was able to say that it does have a sentience of its own. He was not able to read it's 'mind' exactly, but he was able to pick certain feelings from it. With some effort I am able to tab into it. It is clear that while we are not one and the same, we are... connected.”

“Please don't tell me you have a Horcrux living inside your head?” Tony asks.

Vision pauses again. “I would not necessarily call it a Horcrux per se. It does not fit with our definition of evil. But nor does it fit the definition of human either. It is... foreign.”

“Great,” Tony sighs, “just what we need,” he rubs his eyes “An almost Horcrux inside our resident Android running around with two infected people by two _different_ almost Horcruxes and another person who wears one around his neck regularly. But hey, look on the bright side,” he grins, “at least you got the reference.”

“Yes, the children made sure I was up to date on the most popular movies currently. I have also covered Star Wars and Jackson's Tolkien movies.”

“Nice. What did you think? Wait, they _did_ show you Star Wars in the right order, didn't they?”

“If you are referring to the fact that we started with Episode Four, then yes.”

“Oh good, they treated you right. There's nothing worse then watching them out of order. It's bad for the soul.”

Vision nods seriously. “Yes, that is what I was told.”

“Good,” he repeats, “But onward. Now that you're here, we can call an official meeting of the Stone Heads to order. I need to introduce you to Stef – he's the last one with a Stone – and then we need to figure this shit out. He is probably going to have the best resources for that, being Dumbledore and all, but I have the equipment for experiments. Plus Jane keeps blowing things up and we should probably stop that.”

“That seems wise, although I had thought you were fond of explosions.”

“I am, but I'm secretly worried – and don't tell Jane I said this – that one day she is going to blow up something we can't replace. Like a person.”

“I can see why you would want to avoid that. It sounds messy, even for you.”

Tony blinks. “Did you... did you just make a joke at me?” he asks.

“I am still attempting my humor, but yes. Was it... a bit not good?”

“And you watched Sherlock too!” Tony croons excitedly, “oh they _did_ treat you right. But no buddy, you did fine. As long as you can understand humor and sarcasm, you're going to be golden around here.”

“I am sure to pick it up then, if I have you as my teacher.”

Tony grins. “Oh baby, don't worry. Daddy is going to teach you _so much_.”

“Run while you still can,” Rhodey tells him as he rolls into the room.

“Sugarplum! How could you?” Tony shouts, “Ready for tomorrow?”

“If it means I can keep your punk ass in line better? Always.”

Tony pretends to pout while he continues to bicker. Rhodey indulges him because he is the best bro ever.

And so, on Friday Rhodey is injected with Extremis and by Monday he is up and running again. The smile he gives Tony after they race across the field outside might be the best thing Tony has seen in a long time. His Rhodey Bear is back and ready for action.

-xxx-

**Heroes Are People Too**

**Dropping The Bomb: Stark Tells All**

**Strange New World: Aliens Among Us**

**New Stark Follows Legacy: Can We Trust Him?**

-xxx-

“Boss,” FRIDAY interrupts as they are eating lunch, “you have a call from Councilwoman Rosewater. She requests a video conference with you at your convenience, preferably now.”

Tony blinks, lets that sink in and says, “ _Fuck_ ,” with feeling. It isn't as if he necessarily has an issue with Rosewater herself. The woman is actually a delight to work with. But her calling now means that another ball is in play. He's not looking forward to another game right now.

He's avoided the Accord issue so far, besides his remarks in his interview, but he knew that wouldn't last forever. Eventually they would be calling, asking what his intentions were. He just wished he had a little more time. He still can't afford to show his hand too heavily yet. Getting involved with the Accords is the equivalent to jumping into the deep end with rock floaties. Not good.

Still, needs must. And if he has to talk to someone, at least it's Rosewater and _only_ rosewater. Lovelace knows it could be worse. “Ok fry girl, tell her I'll be right there.”

“Have fun,” Rhodey teases.

Tony gives him the finger as he walks away. Rhodey is the worst. He gives a brief thought about maybe changing to look more presentable, but discards it. No need to keep a lady waiting after all. He wants her on his side. Not that he is choosing sides per se, but there is definitely a battle going on, whether everyone on the Council knows it or not. And it is a battle he intends to win. No one messes with Tony fucking Stark and gets away with it.

Walking into his office, he sits down, runs a hand through his hair and nods to FRIDAY. “Alright baby girl, put her on.”

A woman in her mid fifties, brown hair streaked gray and solemn brown eyes appears on screen. “Mr Stark,” she greets, “thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”

“Councilwoman Rosewater” he replies smoothly, “I admit I have been expecting someone to contact me. It is a pleasure that you are the one and not someone else.”

She quirks an eyebrow at him. “Such as your Secretary of State?” she asks dryly.

“How did you know?”

“Well as you all but declared war on him as well as blaming him for the ex-Avengers distrust in the Accords, I believe I have a vague idea. One has to wonder what other trouble you plan on unleashing on the world.”

Tony grins. “I don't ask for trouble Councilwoman, trouble comes looking for me.”

“Dare I inquire if it is a family trait?”

Tony can't help it. He starts laughing. He knew there was a reason he liked her, even if he never got a chance to work with her during the process. A shame too. Things would have happened much differently is she had been involved. “I am afraid so.”

“Well I suppose it could be worse. For all your Father's eccentricities, he is a brilliant man and a caring one, although he goes to great lengths to hide it at times. Funny how his problem with authority never popped up when he was working with someone he respected. Please give him my regards when you speak with him next.”

Oh yes, a worthy ally indeed. “I will certainly Councilwoman. It will be a nice change from everything else he has heard lately.”

“Yes, the press seems to be torn how to treat the two of you. You also have sent the Council in a tailspin as well. I believe some advanced notice would have done some good,” she says pointedly.

“Forgive me, but I'm not use to working with a Council yet. There is also the fact that I was worried I would be blocked if I had given forewarning. As you said, not everyone is willing to agree, or even listen, to me right now. This is too important to ignore any longer.”

Her eyes sharpen as she listens to Tony's explanation. “And now that the truth is out there? What now?”

“I am not looking to step on any toes,” he assures her, “This is too big to try and do it alone. We all need to work together to get through this.”

“So you _are_ pro-Accords then?” she asks bluntly.

“Yes,” he answers, equally blunt, “I am. But I am not willing to work with certain people who are willing to undermine me. I hardly expect everyone to get along, with no disagreements, but I would like to work without constantly having to watch my back.”

“There is something about Secretary Ross that makes you wary. This is more than a simple trust issue.”

“Oh it's a trust issue alright. As in, I trust him as much as I trust the aliens I am preparing to fight against.”

“Those are strong words, coming from one so young.”

“I have seen how he manipulated and pushed my Father. I know what he did to Doctor Banner. I know other, ethnically concerning if not illegal, activities he has participated in. No I do not trust him.”

She leans forward. “Yes, I can see why that would be concerning. I shall forward an investigation for those concerns as well. But this is personal, isn't it? There is something specific you are worried about. What is it? I cannot work with what I do not know.”

Tony hesitates, debating. He knows it will work better for him if _someone_ knows. The last thing he wants is to accidentally 'disappear' for any reason. But he hasn't told anyone about this yet. Sure, before everything Ross was a pain and a hindrance. Now... “I am aware of certain points of view,” he says carefully, “and I would fully appreciate _not_ ending up on a dissection table.”

Understanding lights her eyes. “Ah,” she nods, “and this would lead to your Father making the decisions he did about your upbringing. Yes, I can see why that would be better during your childhood. The political climate was not very sound at the time.”

Tony nods, but says nothing. Technically he's not lying right now. If he _were_ a mutant, the world would not have been a friendly place for him. Mutant rights are still being contested heavily. They are gaining support now, but people still fear them. They think they are too powerful. It's the same idea they have about the Avengers, and superheroes in general. Mutants are closer to home though. Being a hero is a choice. Being a mutant is not.

This also sets the groundwork for when his powers come out. And he is under no illusion that they won't – both his and Jane's. A secret like that can't stay secret forever.

“And this agenda is better left unsaid until certain parties are no longer able to manipulate them,” she nods, “Yes, something will need to be done.”

“Thank you Councilwoman. Dare I ask what you would like in return for this?”

“Mr Stark,” she says sternly, “while I fully understand why you would ask, I am offended by such a question. Your Father was the first to sign the Accords. You yourself support them. We are currently lacking in support of the hero community after the Civil War that has occurred. Everyone is much more cautious now. To have your full support will be an invaluable thing. They can proceed without any of the super's support, but I do not think it should. That was never the plan to begin with.”

“Become a part of it and have a say in the way it is written.”

“Exactly. But unfortunately that was never able to happen. Disaster escalated far too quickly for that to happen. Now more than ever it is important to get things back on track.”

Tony nods. “I agree. That's why I have only been going out when I've been called so far. I don't want to step on any toes.”

“Yes we have been keeping watch. Although I can confidently say I am sick of Doom Bots.”

Tony laughs. “Try fighting them one time. It gets even better.”

“I believe I can live without the experience. Tell me, so far it has only been you and Spider-Man fighting. Are you assembling a team of your own or are you planning on staying mainly solo?”

“I would like to have a team, yes. I have some ideas as well, but nothing solid yet. I can say that Vision is back and willing to fight and War Machine will be able to join me soon. Other than that I am giving everyone time to decide for themselves.”

She nods. “Very well then. I would like to be alerted when things change. And might I recommend a new name? I do not believe anything regarding the 'Avengers' will go over well right now. I shall convey your concerns to the relevant parties then.”

“Thank you. And one more thing Councilwoman?”

“Yes?”

“Do you happen to have anything in place for underage heroes?”

She narrows her eyes. “Plans are being discussed, but nothing solid has been agreed upon yet. Is that also something we should rectify before your team can sign?”

“I'm not saying yes.”

“But you're not saying no,” she sighs, “Ideally I would like to make them wait until they are legal adults before letting them fight and getting them training before, but.”

“But that's an empty dream I'm sorry to say. At least for the ones fighting now. Off the top of my head I could probably name you fiver teams or individuals who are already involved. They aren't going to sit out after they have had action before.”

“Unfortunately not. One thing I would like to ensure is secret identities for minors. Some people would obviously have to know, but not the world at large. I have always been a fan of comics myself. I know that friends and family can be a risk.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you're a godsend Councilwoman?”

“Not today at least,” she quirks another eyebrow. “Is that all of your concerns Mr Stark?”

“Yes that's it.”

“Good, then I shall leave you to your day. As a last thought I would prefer you stay in contact, if only to make things easier for everyone in the long run.”

“I shall do my best. Sorry in advance if I wake you up at some crazy time because villains don't have normal sleeping patterns.”

“I live in anticipation. Goodbye Mr Stark,” she hangs up and the screen goes dark.

Tony sits back with a sigh. Well that was super fun. Could have gone worse, he can admit that. Still not his idea of a party though. Politics. Yuck. Just as he is about to get up and finish eating – damn it, he's still hungry, FRIDAY says, “Boss you have another call coming in. One King Kitty Cat.”

“What is this, bother Tony day? Alright fry, put him on.” Might as well get this over with. Besides, he has a few words he would like to have with his Majesty.

“Mr Stark,” T'Challa's face pops up on Tony's computer screen.

“King Simba, what can I do for you today?”

T'Challa stares solemnly at him as he answers. “Mr Stark, I have a business proposition for you. Recently I have reached the decision that Wakanda should share some of our technology with the rest of the world for the improvement of all. I am already planning on opening a center in California. At this time it is an outreach program headed by one my most trusted advisers and my sister. I believe an alliance would be most beneficial.”

Tony hums thoughtfully. “You are sharing your vibranium tech then? What happen to suddenly change your mind? I am well aware of how you regard people who steal it from you.” Howard had at least warned Tony never to cross a Wakandan. They don't like Starks ever since he 'acquired' the vibranium for Rogers shield.

“There have been... recent truths that have come to light that have led me to believe this is for the best. Wakanda can do much for the world, but not if we stay hidden. And according to yourself, there is something much bigger coming.”

Tony leans back in the chair, frowning.“So do you want a mutual trade? An active partnership? A simple exchange of information? Spit it out Kit Kat, what do you want?”

“One would think you would be more pleasant to a willing ally.”

“Frankly I am surprised you believe me at all.”

“And why would I not?”

“Because I can't imagine any of your guests having anything good to say about my Father. I'm assuming it got passed down to me, especially with my latest article. Although I have to say, I find some wonderful irony in the fact the your Father was one of the spearheads of the Accords.”

T'Challa first looks startled that Tony knows the Rogues are in Wakanda – yeah like it was hard to figure out. Then, once Tony mentioned his Father, he frowns, clearly angry, but hiding it. “I would appreciate you not talking about my Father that way.”

“And I would have appreciated you not leaving _my_ Father in a cold, abandoned _HYDRA_ bunker, with a broken suit I might add, while you took the Brooklyn Boys and ran. Funny how that works, isn't it?”

This is clearly news to T'Challa because his frown deepens. “I do not know what you are talking about,” he says steadily, obviously telling the truth.

At that, Tony can't help it. He laughs bitterly. “Guess Rogers didn't tell you then? He's good at that, you might want to watch out.”

“The Captain seems like an honorable man.”

Tony snorts. “Honorable. Right. Well I guess he can be to those he cares about. The rest of us can burn for all he gives a shit. Tell me, _your Highness_ ,” he mocks, “did he ever tell you why they were fighting in the first place? Or did he give you some bullshit about that too?”

“He said that Dr Stark had attempted to kill Sergeant Barnes and that they needed to leave. When I inquired why, I was told he blamed the Sergeant for HYDRA's crimes. When I then inquired about his health, the Captain reassured me he was fine, but temporarily disabled. I admit my priority at the time was Zemo and then helping the Sergeant to repay my debt to him.”

Tony... well he can't say he's surprised. If Rogers hid the truth from _him_ , he certainly isn't going to tell a stranger what happen. And it is clear he still thinks he did the right thing. That long ago letter shows that. As well as a lack of remorse. He leans forward. “Rogers purposefully hid the fact the Barnes, on command of HYDRA, killed my grandparents. He knew for two years and didn't tell Dad to 'spare his feelings',” Tony quotes with a snort, “More like he was afraid Dad wouldn't fund his little quest to look for Barnes. That's all he cares about. Dad found out when Zemo played HYDRA's footage of it at the bunker. _That's_ why they were fighting.”

“It was not Barnes' fault though. You said it yourself, HYDRA commanded him. He had been brainwashed and tortured for seventy years before that. How could your Father blame him?”

“Jesus fucking Christ people!” he yells, “Where the fuck is your fucking sense of compassion? How about basic human kindness and empathy? Where the fuck is that? What gives you the right to judge all fucking high and mighty you fucking hypocrite?” He glares, positively outraged that T'Challa _dare_ have the nerve to say that to his face. Stupid for him for thinking he might understand.

Another face pops up on the screen. “I heard yelling. What has my brother done this time?” a teenage girl who can be no one else then Princess Shuri asks.

“Being a fucking hypocrite, like the rest of fucking everyone,” he spits.

“We were discussing Barnes,” T'Challa explains.

“Oh,” understanding lights up her eyes, “were you talking about what happened in Siberia then?”

T'Challa frowns. “How did you know, but I did not.”

“Because brother, _I_ talk to people.”

“I talk to people just fine,” T'Challa complains.

“Barnes told you then?” Tony cuts in.

“He already knew,” T'Challa answers her unasked question.

“Yes. I've been helping him ever since he arrived. We talk about his past frequently now that I have healed his mind.”

“You have? That's amazing,” Tony says genuinely, “How is he? There's no permanent damage is there?”

Shuri shakes her head. “No. I was able to fix everything although it will still take time to heal the mental scars.”

“Good, I'm glad.”

“I was under the impression you were angry with Barnes,” T'Challa says.

Tony sighs. “No I'm not. What I'm angry about is how it is fine for _you_ to go off on a week rampage and try to kill Barnes when you think he murdered your Father, but suddenly it's different when it comes to Dad. Who had zero time to adjust to the revelation. And had Barnes standing right next to him. And found out at the same time that a trusted teammate – who ironically enough had reamed him before about keeping secrets – had lied to him for two years. I'm angry because apparently basic human compassion no longer applies when talking about my Father.”

“Ow!” T'Challa exclaims, rubbing his head.

“Serves you right,” Shuri tells him, “Remember that your wisdom is gained through experience and that experience should not be forgotten once you gain that wisdom. I dare you to say you would have done differently in Dr Stark's position. Or did you make up your narrative of hunting down Barnes before you found out it was Zemo?”

T'Challa sighs. “I apologize. My sister is right. I of all people understand the pain of seeing a parent murdered in front of you. I was attempting to apply logic to a highly emotional situation and forgot that it would not be appreciated.”

Tony sighs. “It's fine Simba, it's a touchy subject. Given time and distance both my Father and I agree with you. But in the heat of the moment things look very different. Especially when you add Dad's PTSD into the mix.”

“Sergeant Barnes has also expressed regret about how the situation occurred.”

“Bet that goes over great with Rogers,” Tony snorts.

“Actually Sergeant Barnes has expressed reluctance to talk with Rogers. They are living in separate sections of the city actually. Barnes prefers nature and is living as such. Rogers – and the others – are in a wing of the palace.”

“Huh,” is all Tony manages to say. Well isn't _that_ interesting. The Brooklyn Boys aren't together right now. That's shocking. Tony had been sure they would hook up – or re-hook up maybe – once they were able to. Given Rogers actions and willingness to screw the rest of the world over, it seemed like a fair assumption. Is it not equally felt then?

T'Challa clears his throat. “To bring us back to the original subject, I would like an active partnership between Stark Industries and Wakanda International Aid and Trade if you are willing.”

Tony goes to answer and then runs that through his head again. “WAIT. You named your new Company WAIT?” he laughs, “Seriously? Ummm, you did realize that right.”

“Ah ha!” Shuri crows.

T'Challa sighs. “You and my sister,” he complains, “Yes I am aware of what the acronym spells. There are worse ones out there. I do not see a problem with WAIT. It is a fine name as well as easy to say and remember.”

“At least call it WIT – Wakanda International Trade,” Shuri says, “WIT sounds much more intelligent,” she laughs.

“Good one,” Tony tells her.

“Thank you. I will have to show you my sneakers some time.”

“Do tell?” Tony grins.

“I have a feeling I will regret this, but if an agreement is reached then you will be working with Shuri mainly instead of myself or Nakia.”

“Oh yes, a smart white boy to work with. This will be fun.”

“Send me a contract to read over and we'll talk King Felix. In the meantime,” he turns to Shuri, “I am totally willing to trade you my blueprints for a lightsaber in exchange for something equally as awesome. Wait,” he frowns, “do you know what Star Wars is?”

“Of course I know what Star Wars is,” Shuri answers, offended, “I am not a barbarian.”

Tony holds up his hands. “Isolation policy, I wasn't sure if anything reached you. It seemed rude to assume.”

Shuri looks soothed at that. “Good. I shall see what I have equivalent, if I do not make one myself that is,” she smiles teasingly.

Tony brightens at the thought. “Another genius engineer?”

“Leading one in our country,” she says, head up.

Tony grins widely. “This _is_ going to be fun. I can't wait to play.”

“If you think you can keep up.”

“Oh honey, you should see me dance.”

“If you say so white boy.”

“You know so Princess.”

T'Challa groans. “What have I done?” he asks rhetorically.

Both Tony and Shuri ignore him. Oh yes, this is going to be wonderful. Just wait till he tells the others about _this_.

-xxx-

Tony is sleeping when he gets the call. At least it isn't the middle of the night, That still doesn't change the fact that his voice is more frog than human when he answers it. “Hello Chief,” he croaks, blinking tiredly at Officer Robinson.

“Sorry to wake you Mr Stark, but we have a slight problem down here. There seems to be an invasion of-”

“Furby Hungry,” a high pitched voice interrupts.

“Furbies,” he finishes.

Tony blinks at the man. “Please tell me I'm still dreaming.”

He grimaces and flips the phone so Tony can see the _giant Furby_ walking down the street demanding someone 'Hug Me.' As he watches, it steps on a car, destroying it. “If you're dreaming than I'm having the same one unfortunately.”

“Awesome. Be right there,” he reassures as he rolls out of bed, “Any idea where they are coming from? I'm sort of dreading that there is a portal to Furby land somewhere in the city. Also, how many?”

Robinson shudders at the idea. “No idea as of yet, but we'll keep an eye out for you. There's three, no four Derek just ran into another one, so far.”

“Feed Me.”

“Great. Just what I wanted to do on my Sunday.”

“You and me both. I thought I was done with these things when my five year old ran from her room screaming in terror about her Furby coming alive. Worst Christmas present we ever bought her.”

“You think that's bad, you should try looking at the mechanics behind them when you know anything about engineering. It gets even worse. The AI alone is enough to give you nightmares. Then you find out _why_ they can run without batteries.” He gives a visible shudder for Robinson to see. He reaches the shop and the suit assembles around him. The call is automatically transferred to his hub where Robinson is smirking at him.

“Let me guess, you were one of those children that were into everything.”

“Oh you have no idea the things I have assembled and reassembled. It drove everyone nuts but we never had to call anyone to repair anything. I did all the maintenance whenever something broke. FRIDAY alert the others. We're going to need help with this.”

“Oh good back up. This mean you have a team now?”

“Technically yes. Just don't ask about the mechanics of it so far – it's not been that long.” He takes to the air, putting on the speed as soon as he is able to. Damn. Giant Furbies. He isn't paid enough for this shit.

“At least you have big targets to work with.”

“Please tell me this is a joke?” Rhodey asks over the comms as he catches up with Tony.

“Afraid not honey bear. ETA seven minutes Chief.”

“We'll be waiting,” Robinson says as he hangs up.

“Fry girl, also text Rosewater and let her know we're about to see some real action.”

“On it Boss. Shall I let Dumbledore know too?”

Tony smiles. “Yeah let him know. I hate for him to miss all the fun.”

“He was right there with us after all,” Rhodey agrees.

“According to the internet Furbies are actually a means for demon possession,” Vision says as he joins them.

“You're not wrong,” Tony says, “they're both too advance and too primitive at the same time. Actually they're why I got into AIs to begin with. I knew I could do better than those pieces of shit. Dum-E is about a hundred times smarter than they are.”

“Scary part is you're right. _Dum-E_ is smarter than a Furby,” Rhodey agrees. “Hey do you think this is revenge for the time we set all of them of fire?”

“If it is, our entire class is in for one hell of a surprise. Wasn't as if it was just us.”

“You guys burned Furbies? Why?” Peter asks, “I'm already here. Working on containment with my webs. They stick, but it takes a bit before they can't break through.”

“Good, keep that up until we get there. ETA three minutes. Don't engage by yourself. And we were drunk engineers. What else were we supposed to do? They insulted our sensibilities. And their language made no damn sense either. It was a pain to try and learn.”

“Why would you want to learn it in the first pl- oh shit,” Peter cusses.

“Spidey report,” Tony demands, “Are you ok?”

“I'm fine, but I think we have bigger problems right now. One of them can breathe fire.”

“Yeah this is definitely Revenge of the Furbies,” Rhodey says, “Let this be a lesson to you kid. Never set a Furby on fire. It'll come back.”

“I never wanted one anyways.”

“I told you it was a bad idea to set those Furbies on fire,” Stef cuts in.

“Oh like hell Strange,” Rhodey snaps, “you threw one in just like the rest of us.”

“Feed Furby. Furby Hungry.”

“Crowd mentality. Christ one just tried to eat me,” he complains.

“Oh god,” Tony says, trying to stop the slightly hysterical laughter that wants to escape. There, in the middle of downtown New York, New York is a mob of four Furbies. And one of them does indeed breathe fire. The hell is this his life again?

“Peek a boo,” he hears and looks up. Make that five Furbies. And this one is flying. The world are these things on? They shouldn't be able to do this. Then again they shouldn't be thirty feet and moving on their own either. The hell these things are running on batteries.

“Right, Vision take the flying one. War Machine and I will take the fire breathing one. Spidey and Potter try to contain the others. Stop them if you can but be careful. I have a feeling these aren't your usual cheery kids toys.”

“They weren't cheery even when they _were_ kids toys,” Rhodey protests.

“And keep your eyes out for where the hell these things came from. FRIDAY connect with the Chief and ask him if there's anything we can do to help him.”

“Right Boss.”

Tony and Rhodey pass Peter as he tries to web one of them to the ground. It struggles, booing at him as he does. Then he has to swerve to avoid a jet of fire. And here it is. It's clearly a newer model than the one Peter is fighting because it has demon eyes. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to make a children's toy with a mean mood? That's just asking for trouble.

“Boss, Chief says to make sure that they stay dead this time. The police are on evac duty and the firemen need a clear way to start putting on the fire.

“Ready Iron?”

“Ready War.”

“Let's go torch a Furby then.”

Rhodey flies up and away, hoping it won't see him until he strikes. Tony dodges again and sends a shoulder missile at it. It lets out a high screech and it turns towards him. Well the good news is that Tony has its attention. The bad news is that it didn't do a whole lot of damage. Shit. An explosion comes from behind it and Rhodey crows. “Direct hit you demonic thing.”

It flaps its ears as its eyes flash. “U-nye-loo-lay-doo?” it asks.

“Ummm Iron, the hell did it just say.”

“It asked if we wanted to play.”

“You're shitting me.”

“Nope.”

“I don't get paid enough for this shit.”

“I don't get paid at all,” Peter says, “is that a thing? Because I feel like it should be a thing after this. The crazier the thing, the more we get paid. This is cool and all, but I didn't sign up to-”

“U-nye-noh-lah,” Tony hears over the comms.

“It wants you to dance,” Tony translates.

“How about the swing dance?” Peter asks, giggling. “Get it? You get it? Cause-”

“Spidey we get it,” Tony says, smiling, “Just keep doing your thing.”

“On it,” Peter starts singing Cotton Eye Joe supposedly to go with his 'swing dancing'.

“Mine seems intent on playing as well,” Vision reports. “It is easily distracted to that it will not interfere until we are ready to battle it.”

“Any chances you can take it out yourself?”

“I may be able to, but I do not want to risk any permanent damage if I shoot it down now. I will continue to distract it until you are able to join me before grounding it.”

“Ok, lets us know if you need any help sooner.”

“I will do so.”

“Ever think you have to be insane to sign up for this job?” Rhodey asks as he dodges another flame. “Like, a certain amount of insanity is required to be a superhero? An entry test kind of thing.”

“Yeah, but what does that say about you sweet cheeks?”

“It means your both insane,” Stef tells them. “One wants to eat everything – including me – and the other wants someone to tickle it.”

Tony flies above the thing and starts shooting. Does it have a brain or is it built like the toy? “Are you ok taking both of them?”

“Yes although I won't object to some help after you put Puff out.”

“Puff the Magic Furby. Hmmm, not sure that rolls off the tongue as well.” Hmmm, it's still going. If it's built like the toy then he should try the eyes next.

“Bad toy. Bad,” Rhodey tells it as he rolls to avoid a flame. These things are surprisingly fast.

“Boo-dah,” it says back angrily as it goes after him. That's kind of hilarious actually, if Tony wasn't going to have to do something about it. A toy scolding you back? He's never going to be able to watch Toy Story the same way again.

“Whatever tin head.”

“Rude.”

“Will you two knock it off and help me,” Rhodey snaps. “Ah ha! Score.”

Tony shoots another shoulder missile at it's back, which already looks like it went through some heavy target practice and asks, “What did you hit?”

“I just took out it's eyes.”

It obviously isn't happy with that because it begins shooting its flame blindly. Fire begins to spread, catching onto buildings and melting cars. Shit.

“War, help me leaser the head off before it burns down the entire city in its tantrum.”

“On it.”

Tony takes the back and Rhodey takes the front as they cut through it. Naturally this makes it angrier, but since it can't see them, it can't set them on fire. Unfortunately this means its setting everything else on fire. They complete the circle and Tony pushes. The top of it falls off with a thud. “Shoot down inside it and keep shooting until it stops moving,” Tony orders because of course the removal didn't kill it yet. They let loose.

Tony vaguely wonders how many kids are going to have nightmares after this.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, it stops moving. It gives one last twitch and then it stops.

“Thank god,” Rhodey says.

“Right. Onto the next on sugar pop.”

“You just had to ruin the mood, didn't you?” he asks.

“Sorry sour patch someone had to say it. Spidey you still doing ok?”

“Fine Iron. I can handle this by myself. It just wants to dance at this point. I have it webbed off for now.”

“Right then, Viz?”

“I am still fine as well,” he confirms.

“I'm great too, thanks for asking,” Stef says sarcastically, “don't worry about me. I'm only the one with two of these demons after all.”

“Keep your panties on Potter, we're coming.”

“That's nice sweetheart, take your time. I'll be here, trying not to get eaten.”

“Can't you open a portal or something to dump these things in?”

“Maybe if I wasn't so _busy_.”

“Take it easy, we got Tickle Me Elmo for you.”

“Oh sure, take the easy one,” he complains.

“There's just no pleasing some people,” Tony grumbles.

“Tickle Me,” the Furby giggles.

Tony and Rhodey look at each other and nod, not having to say anything to know the plan. As one the shoot the repulsor beams at its stomach. It stops moving and giggles as they do. It keeps giggling until they cut into its core and it starts smoking green smoke.

“I'm so glad for air filters right now,” Rhodey says.

“You and me both,” Tony agrees.

“I hate you so much right now,” Stef complains.

“Any luck with the portal yet?”

“Will you people give me a minute? I am trying to without getting eaten.”

“Fine then cry baby, I suppose we can-”

“If I may interrupt, I believe my Furby has heard the cries of the others and is becoming increasingly violent. Some assistance would be appreciated.”

“Right, War you go help Strange. I'll help Vision. Spidey, are you still good?”

“Getting a little dizzy here, but yeah. I didn't even realize I knew Hoedown Throwdown until I started singing it. I'm a little worried.”

“Osmosis of popular culture, try not to think about it too much.”

“I never even _watched_ Hannah Montana,” he complains.

“Keep it together Spidey, almost done here.” He hopes. This is getting ridiculous. Even more ridiculous than it was before that is. Furbies. _Seriously_. Tony sees what Vision means by violent as soon as he reaches them. It is flapping its ears, seemingly determined to take Vision out of the sky one way or another. How is it flying anyways?

“Ah you started the party without me,” Tony teases.

“I am unsure what you mean by party, but I am happy to share.”

“Let's get this thing on the ground before it manages to peck you to death or something.”

“Agreed.”

They both circle it, getting closer and closer to it. With the help of Tony's repulsor beam and Vision's Infinity Stone, they force it down. Everything is going good and Tony thinks this is going to actually go well when it dodges unexpectedly and takes a direct hit from Vision. It goes down. Fortunately it lands on the edge of a park so the only thing it hits is grass and some trees. Unfortunately it begins screeching and won't stop.

“FRIDAY lower the volume on the comms,” he orders, “Shit we have to shut this thing up before it breaks all the glass in the city.” Even as he says this the windows around it begin to crack. Both Tony and Vision begin to aim at it, trying the same thing Tony and Rhodey did. Tony is mumbling under his breath, worried. They aren't going to be able to stop it in time. What a hell of a mess this is going to be.

Just when he thinks the glass isn't going to be able to take anymore, Stef appears, opens a portal and drops the dying Furby through.

Thank god. “Took you long enough,” Tony snaps.

“So much for gratitude,” he says dryly.

“Thank you Doctor,” Vision says.

“See? Someone knows how to appreciate me,” he smirks and goes to take care of Peter's Furby.

“Oh go suck a cock,” Tony shouts after him.

“Not an insult if you enjoy it,” Stef calls back.

“Spidey, you ok?” he asks once the final Furby is gone.

“I think I'm going to be sick,” Peter says as he sits down clumsily. “I never want to do that again.”

“Spin or battle Furbies?”

“Both.”

Clean up is a blur to Tony. He is running on adrenaline, spite and determination right now. It doesn't help that half way through the reporters show up, asking them questions. Or shouting questions at them more like. Tony isn't really paying attention to it. It all sounds like a dull roar to him anyways. At one point he does take his helmet off, smile at them and say, “Well we are all marvels here,” to... one of their questions. He's not really sure which one. Maybe all of them.

“Hop on Spider monkey,” he tells Peter as they leave, “I'll give you a ride back home if you want.”

Peter jumps on his back, clinging on. “Home Jeeves. And did you just Twilight me?”

“The hell is Twilight? Wait, is it like another Crystal Skull thing? Because if so I don't want to know. That movie was enough to almost kill it for me. I'll live in ignorant bliss.”

“It's about teenage love and sparkling vampires.”

“What the hell?” Yeah Tony _really_ doesn't want to know now. After he drops Peter off it's back to the Compound for a well deserved nap. Just as long as Furbies don't pop up in his dreams after this. Ugh.

-xxx-

“Tony!” Rhodey shouts when he walks into the kitchen the next day. A tablet is thrown at his head. Fumbling he manages to catch it without dropping it. He gives Rhodey the finger as he squints at it. It's too early for this shit. He knows very well not to pull something like this before his morning coffee. On screen the headline in bold black read:

**The Marvelous Marvels Protect New York**

Scanning the article, Tony sees they covered the battle yesterday, made the required demon Furby jokes and... oh. Named the team. Because of Tony's comment. That's what Rhodey is talking about. Oops. He blinks, shrugs and goes straight for the coffee.

“No,” Rhodey blocks him.

Tony whines. “Rhodeyyyyyyy, whyyyyy?”

“You named the team Marvel?”

“I didn't, the press did,” he protests, “Coffee.”

“Tones,” Rhodey sighs.

“I was running on adrenaline, give me a break. I didn't think they'd take me seriously.”

“This is the press Tony, they take everything seriously.”

“Could be worse,” Jane says.

“Yeah at least we aren't the New Avengers or something. The lame buckets would have probably gone with that if Tony hadn't said anything,” Darcy adds.

Rhodey sighs again, but hands Tony a full, hot cup of coffee.

“You _do_ love me honey pie.” He moans as he takes a sip. Yum. Coffee. Life.

“Why do I have a feeling things are going to get more interesting from here?” Rhodey asks.

“Because it statistically follows the pattern,” Vision answers.

“Great. Why did I sign up for this again?”

Tony grins. “Because you love me?” he asks sweetly.

“Only on days that don't end in -y.”

“Hey!” Tony protests. Rhodey is so mean. He takes another sip of his coffee. Mmmm. Coffee. Unfortunately he thinks they are right. Things are only going to get crazier from here. It always does.

 

reasons I am a writer and not an artist:

  


I guess they could be worse but...

**Author's Note:**

> so, a few quick things:  
> \--Yes, it is true. There is noting worse than watching Star Wars out of order. I know this personally.  
> \--I love T'Challa. And I love Black Panther. But that line at the end of CW bugged me for the longest time ['Vengeance has consumed them, I will not let it consume me too.' or whatever it was exactly] Ummm, excuse you there is a difference between having about a week to come to terms this seeing your Father die in front of you and having about 0 seconds to come to terms with seeing your parents killed in front of you. With their murderer [brainwashed or no - and yes he was, I am aware thanks] in front of you. And your trusted teammate who lied to you for two years. Try to other one.  
> \--Sorry if any one likes Furbies, but I killed them all. Actually, fun fact, they were suppose to be giant hamsters. But I couldn't remember Hamtaro for Tony to call them. All I could think of was furby, idk why...?  
> \--Ummm, yeah. Sorry not sorry about the team being called Marvel. It just kind of happened... (My story, my sense of humor.)


End file.
